Bri Edwards

Gold Star - 6,894 Points (some time ago / Earth, i believe)

[Humor] Speak To Me, Moon..... [Speaking To The Moon; Fantasy; Humor; Very SHORT]

Speak to me, Moon, of what you see.
Oh! I forgot; you CAN'T see. Pardon me.

Then speak to me, Moon, of what you hear.
Damn, you are deaf also, Moon. How queer!

Ok then. Speak to me, Moon, of what you feel,
as you gaze down on our cities of concrete and steel.
What's that you say, Moon? You don't like what you see.
Well, I didn't build them, so please don't blame ME! ! |

(March 2014)

Submitted: Friday, March 28, 2014
Edited: Friday, April 04, 2014

Topic of this poem: humor

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

i read a fine poem by John Westlake, entitled '012. I Stand On A Lonely Cliff Top'. he didn't think his poem (another short one) was so great, but i thought it was. it inspired me to write this poem, mine, in response. i hope the Moon is listening. oh rats! i forgot. john said the moon can't see or hear. oh well! bri :) you may even like his poem more than mine (if you like mine AT ALL) . it is more serious.

[[ a few days later: AFTER receiving several favorable comments, AND REALIZING i made a rather large 'error' in my little poem. hasn't anyone else noticed? are you all just too kind? or are you blinded by the Moon's light? ? ? ? bri :) ]] look at a comment i am going to make now on the poem page. ;)

Comments about this poem ([Humor] Speak To Me, Moon..... [Speaking To The Moon; Fantasy; Humor; Very SHORT] by Bri Edwards )

  • Bronze Star - 2,783 Points Points Of View (9/22/2014 9:38:00 PM)

    after reading your poem Sir, it reminds me of this nursery rhymes about the Moon..i recited in front of my classmates when i was 6years old.. I SEE THE MOON AND THE MOON SEE'S ME, GOD BLESS THE MOON AND GOD BLESS ME'.......vow (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 6,894 Points Bri Edwards (3/30/2014 1:33:00 PM)

    HOW GOOFY OF ME........BRI, THAT IS. my mind suddenly, after receiving most of the comments below this one, REALIZED that i made an 'ERROR'! i said in line #2 that Moon CAN'T see. BUT then in the last stanza i seem to have forgotten that Moon is blind, as i use the words gaze and see! ! ! ! oh, well. i guess human readers sometimes see or hear what they WANT to see or hear, despite what is actually being said or written! ! ! bri :)

    i guess i could say the gazing and seeing are not exactly THAT. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 15,246 Points John Westlake (3/30/2014 1:55:00 AM)

    Have not had a poem dedicated to me before. Am honoured. Thank you (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 19,179 Points Valsa George (3/29/2014 7:33:00 AM)

    There is much wisdom in this humorously crafted poem.

    When the Moon looks down from above, into your territory of the United States, she will be seeing only sky high structures erected in steel and concrete! How the moon will be lamenting on wasting her brilliance among such garguntuan piles of brick and mortar! Enjoyed! (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 701 Points Shahzia Batool (3/29/2014 3:38:00 AM)

    This is strange that i have seen the boys with their nick MOON, and the girls too with the same name MOON...Ted Hughes calls the MOON as a male artist, while Keats in his ode to a nightingale says, perhaps the Queen Moon is on her throne/clustered around by all her starry maids...i don't think that the moon is deaf and dumb and blind but the poem is like a light relief, wittily composed! thanks for sharing! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 309 Points Shania K. Younce (3/29/2014 12:16:00 AM)

    I like this poem. It is quite fine. Bien! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 54 Points Cassandra Jasmine (3/28/2014 10:04:00 PM)

    LOL. Wow Bri, first meals on wheels, then some others, and let's get back the Mr. Moon! It could a Miss, or maybe Mister. Hey, can you write a poem about the Sun as well?
    This was hilarious! 10! (Report) Reply

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