Shahzia Batool

Rookie - 421 Points (Pakistan)

A square deal

Pardon me, my Pakistan!
land of hopes and finest dreams!
where gently flow the shining streams
and youthful rivers...
I know...that i am miserable...
I promised much to do for you
a lot of work...
but i admit
i could not do
the least of it.
O vale of smiles!
when i say in deep despair, ' i love you not ',
believe me not...
I accept we made you messy
I accept we did you wrong
I admit your urban scenes are full of horrid savagery;
all of us have really drawn
tasty victuals from your soil...
we enjoy the air of freedom.
despite the mess and ethnic strife,
stale, stagnant economic life,
you are still a gift of God
a perfect thought
of our Quaid,
our savior, hero, able-guide -
now i realize
that i should work
with extra toil
in response to all your favors
this will be a square deal
IF we think and IF we feel...

Submitted: Tuesday, December 20, 2011

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  • Rookie - 102 Points Muhammad Ali (1/5/2014 1:06:00 AM)

    every pakistani should have the same motivation.
    plus, every pakistani should admit what he is and decide what to do. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 3,881 Points Bri Edwards (11/30/2013 8:14:00 PM)

    despite the mess and ethnic strife,
    stale, stagnant economic life, ............. i loved' these two lines; i do like good rhymes and sensible words.

    i'll have to take your word(s) for what pakistan is like. 'america', in some places, could also use improvement! we, some of us, do hear some news about pakistan. of course it is often not flattering; those (unflattering) things make the news; probably the unflattering items about the u.s.a. make the news more often in your country (and others) as well. too bad, in a way..

    it sounds like Hina N. has written the poet's note for this. i guess it is pretty accurate? i DO hope, though, that in her the blessings u are enjoying because of it she didn't mean the lawlessness and disorder when she writes it. i assume she means (by it) pakistan.

    how has your ambition, expressed at the end of the poem, translated into action, i wonder. or, like often happens with idealistic thoughts, not much has changed in your life.

    thanks for sharing. sorry if the u.s.a. has pissed off any of pakistan's citizens. :) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Hina Narjis (11/27/2013 9:13:00 AM)

    Wonderful! How beautifully you started with an excusatory note, requested Pakistan not to believe your words uttered in despair, admitted the faults done from your end, ignoring the lawlessness and disorder prevailing everywhere highlighted the blessings u are enjoying because of it and at the end made a square deal and expressed your determination to do more for it, I am impressed :) (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,319 Points Geetha Jayakumar (8/23/2013 1:11:00 PM)

    Inspirational and motivating poem..with great message for country. Loved it....

    Thank you Shahzia for the beautiful comments for my poem...Breaking News.. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 12,580 Points Valsa George (7/12/2013 6:05:00 AM)

    A very inspired write with a mix of patriotic ardour and a sense of frustration! Also a firm resolve to do everything possible to enhance the glory of your motherland that has given succour and sustenance, also a habitation and a name! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Passionate Reader (6/30/2013 4:07:00 PM)

    it's written with great emotion and feeling! ! ! very thought-provoking as well as inspirational! ! :) (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 2,381 Points Diane Hine (5/2/2013 6:16:00 AM)

    The ambivalence we sometimes feel towards our countries is perfectly expressed in this poem. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Frank James Davis (4/6/2013 3:17:00 PM)

    It is virtually impossible not to, in many ways, warmly regard the land in which one is born. You more than do your beloved Pakistan justice, Shahzia.
    Excellent! (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 2,273 Points Patricia Grantham (3/16/2013 5:53:00 PM)

    Hello Batool; I can see that you really appreciate your country. We all need to do more for
    the place in which we live. Whatever we do no matter how small it seems can make
    a difference in someones life. Good read. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 321 Points Captain Cur (7/4/2012 7:06:00 PM)

    I am reading this poem on the 4th of July, America's Independence day and I could not have picked a more proper time to read your strong words of how you need to do more for your country as we all need to honor our homeland. There is inspiration in your gifted writing style and words that amaze and teach me. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Shumaila Bari (6/22/2012 2:08:00 AM)

    a thought provoking poem. this is what Pakistanis should be aware of. its not the land itself which is messy, its we who make it so. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 2,158 Points Wahab Abdul (3/8/2012 10:27:00 AM)

    What a nice poem it is, fantastic on a marvelous theme running like a horse in the race a bird is flying in the sky motionless…..the word is the music in the years and the fine tune
    Created in the poem…which makes the poem a master piece. Please read my poem ‘’I want to die’’ (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Gordon Tseng (3/5/2012 9:49:00 PM)

    We should write
    with extra toil
    in response to our gifts
    this will be a square deal
    IF we think and IF we feel...

    Keep going, my friend! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Lasoaphia Quxazs (3/4/2012 4:33:00 PM)

    Always follow your feelings. However, you have to find peace in your soul and then your surrounding will find it too. I came from Hungary, so I know what you mean. (Report) Reply

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