Beach Girl


Sea Foam - Poem by Beach Girl

Running up the beach I stopped
And then I turned to see
Footprints filled up to tiptop
With foam the sea emptied


Comments about Sea Foam by Beach Girl

  • Gold Star - 10,717 Points Bri Edwards (7/15/2015 11:21:00 PM)

    FINALLY! i found one i haven't read. nice.

    one suggestion: change line #4 to:

    Into which the sea did pee.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    Bri’s FORM FOR COMMENTING ON POEMS:
    [“n/a” = not applicable to this poem]
    ====================================
    Poem Comment Form

    As my shoulder I did abuse,
    here is what may amuse:
    A poem-comment “form”;
    I know it ain’t the norm.

    But if I write comments TOO long,
    I’ll never hear the end of the song:
    “Bri, I Told You, Take Care Of Shoulder;
    You’re Young No More & Getting Older”.

    So this simple form I have devised.
    Don’t look at me! Are you so surprised?
    If I use the form I MAY have more time …
    to read more poems with, or without, rhyme.

    After all, I can’t read and NOT comment,
    and if you must have MORE input ……….from me …
    send me a request ……….., though “more” AIN’T free.
    - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    A. I enjoyed it: Yes _x__ ; No___ ; I’m not telling___
    B. I understood it: Yes_x__; No___; I’m not sure___
    C. I enjoyed the: Rhyming ___; Rhythm_x__; Originality___; Cleverness_x__; Humor/Humour___;
    Seriousness___; Sensuality_x__; Humanity___; Alliterations___; Personal touch__x_; Other __________
    D. It makes me want to read more of your poems: Yes_x__; No___; I’m not telling___
    E. The use of English was: Impeccable/good_x_; Deplorable/bad___; In between___; No comment___
    F. Could use proofreading: Yes___; No___; You decide_x__

    THANKS FOR SHARING. bri :) (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Rookie - 0 Points Kevin East (8/14/2013 7:02:00 AM)

    nice picture.you are unique. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 9,455 Points Khairul Ahsan (8/13/2013 8:48:00 AM)

    Short but beautiful! (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Friday, June 21, 2013

Poem Edited: Saturday, June 22, 2013


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