Beach Girl


The Edge


Here on the edge
of blackness
The sea was set
on fire

While streaming ribbons
all ablaze
Sought paths across
the skies

In frantic fear lest
day depart
I grasped towards
fleeing sun

And watched as silken strands
of day
Slipped through my outstretched
hand

When darkness strode into
the room
And blew out lamp's
last flicker

I bowed my head to dreams
I'd lost
And closed my eyes
once more

Submitted: Thursday, December 26, 2013
Edited: Wednesday, February 05, 2014

Do you like this poem?
0 person liked.
0 person did not like.

Form:


Read this poem in other languages

This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.

I would like to translate this poem »

word flags

What do you think this poem is about?

Comments about this poem (The Edge by Beach Girl )

  • Rookie - 111 Points Perry Biggerstaff (7/6/2014 4:46:00 PM)

    Occasionaly I stumble across a poet who truly knows how to capture a moment...a theme..a concept...into words. Thank you for this poem. I most certainly WILL be looking at your other works. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 19 Points Goldheart Bird (6/20/2014 3:54:00 PM)

    beutiful! ! I can already picture the scene in my head! ! (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 6,258 Points Khairul Ahsan (3/6/2014 3:32:00 AM)

    You have drawn a beautiful imagery of the setting sun against the backdrop of black clouds on a sea shore. The crimson sun would soon be gulped down by the sea at the horizon.
    The last stanza is indeed mesmerizing!
    'I bowed my head to dreams
    I'd lost
    And closed my eyes
    once more' - Loved this imagery! Very well done!
    I can only pity the poor judgement of the reader who has rated this beautiful poem only 3 out of 10. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 853 Points Nika Mcguin (2/14/2014 3:09:00 AM)

    When darkness strode into
    the room
    And blew out lamp's
    last flicker

    and

    I bowed my head to dreams
    I'd lost

    My favorite parts! ^-^ I'm not sure why but I just love the imagery in this. Amazing read, it makes the idea of the sun setting - against one's will - so much more magical. It is something I can relate to though, the fact that time passes far too quickly. A day feels like a couple of hours, and an hour feels like a couple of minutes (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 853 Points Nika Mcguin (2/14/2014 3:08:00 AM)

    When darkness strode into
    the room
    And blew out lamp's
    last flicker

    and

    I bowed my head to dreams
    I'd lost

    My favorite parts! ^-^ I'm not sure why but I just love the imagery in this. Amazing read, it makes the idea of the sun setting - against one's will - so much more magical. It is something I can relate to though, the fact that time passes far too quickly. A day feels like a couple of hours, and an hour feels like a couple of minutes (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,586 Points Bri Edwards (2/5/2014 6:01:00 PM)

    first Beach Girl, i'll take the chance that you will tolerate a suggestion; i'm not sure that i know why i'm timid about it now, as I RARELY am...........unless i've already been bawled out once by a poet for sending her/him a suggestion in the public forum.
    here is my suggestion:
    in the line: : Slip through my outstretched.....use slipped, as you have used the past tense for another verb in the stanza.

    i enjoyed this poem and read it two or three times at least. at first i kept expecting a rhyme at the end of each pair of stanzas. it just sounded like one was going to appear. but one didn't! it wasn't disheartening, just surprising.
    maybe it was because of my habit of rhyming and also because of the cadence as i read. i 'never' use the word cadence but i looked it up and it fits! you didn't need the missing rhymes. a nice poem without them.

    this set of pictures would befit a beach girl looking out her pacific ocean window. thanks for sharing. :) bri (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 605 Points Shahzia Batool (1/9/2014 3:49:00 PM)

    Here on the edge
    of blackness
    The sea was set
    on fire....

    When darkness strode into
    the room...

    I bowed my head to dreams
    I'd lost...

    lovely lines! ! ! (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 4,859 Points Savita Tyagi (12/31/2013 8:05:00 AM)

    Beautiful expressions. Loved the imagery and the last lines. (Report) Reply

Read all 8 comments »

Famous Poems

  1. Phenomenal Woman
    Maya Angelou
  2. Still I Rise
    Maya Angelou
  3. The Road Not Taken
    Robert Frost
  4. If You Forget Me
    Pablo Neruda
  5. Dreams
    Langston Hughes
  6. Annabel Lee
    Edgar Allan Poe
  7. I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings
    Maya Angelou
  8. If
    Rudyard Kipling
  9. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
    Robert Frost
  10. A Dream Within A Dream
    Edgar Allan Poe
Trending Poets
Trending Poems
  1. Still I Rise, Maya Angelou
  2. The Road Not Taken, Robert Frost
  3. Dreams, Langston Hughes
  4. I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings, Maya Angelou
  5. If You Forget Me, Pablo Neruda
  6. Phenomenal Woman, Maya Angelou
  7. A Dream Within A Dream, Edgar Allan Poe
  8. If, Rudyard Kipling
  9. Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, Robert Frost
  10. Fire and Ice, Robert Frost
[Hata Bildir]