Noreen Carden

Freshman - 1,033 Points (16/12/50 / Mayo)

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Heart and soul revised


A heart can break without a sound.
A tear can fall to hit the ground.
No one standing near can tell.
There's not a sign to break the spell.
A soul can shatter separate.
still leave the body standing straight.
The outer shell can smile and talk.
While the soul is on its lonely walk.

Bereft of light and peace it flies
Its quest to reach towards the sky.
Blackness holds it fast in space.
Forever locked in time and place.
Just one touch of human hand
can raise that soul to reach for light
Then mend the heart its hope revive.
To lift its wing's to give it flight

A rescued soul is unconfined.
No chains can hold it fast.
It flies towards the heavens.
Then comes falling back to earth
Cascading down it twinkles,
like a thousand shining stars.
It steals its light from heavens brim
then walks it round the world.

When the human heart has hope renewed
its flight makes angels weep
It overcomes each earthly task.
Its promises to keep.
The path it follows straight and true
Its destiny to meet.
Its sighs can reach to heaven,
When love is what it seeks.

Submitted: Sunday, November 03, 2013
Edited: Tuesday, November 12, 2013

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

Sometimes we all need someone to carry us when we cant fly
I edited this on John Browns advice he felt it needed another verse but i went a bit further than that please do let me know what you think

Comments about this poem (Heart and soul revised by Noreen Carden )

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  • Veteran Poet - 2,884 Points Hazel Durham (12/1/2014 3:32:00 PM)

    Outstanding write Noreen with inspired lines bursting with such beauty about how lonely people can feel but when somebody reaches out to them it gives them hope for a better future!
    Congratulations on your stunning poem been selected as poem of the day! (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,148 Points Kim Barney (12/1/2014 9:18:00 AM)

    I didn't see your poem before John Brown's advice, but I'm guessing that it had only two verses at that time.
    The first verse has the rhyme scheme AA, BB, CC, DD.
    The second verse is AA (almost) , BB, CD, ED.
    Third verse: no rhymes (not necessarily a bad thing; it still flows beautifully)
    Fourth verse: AB, CB, then lines 6 and 8 assonance only.
    Very well written; I enjoyed it very much. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,148 Points Kim Barney (12/1/2014 9:16:00 AM)

    I didn't see your poem before John Brown's advice, but I'm guessing that it had only two verses at that time.
    The first verse has the rhyme scheme AA, BB, CC, DD.
    The second verse is AA (almost) , BB, CD, ED.
    Third verse: no rhymes (not necessarily a bad thing; it still flows beautifully)
    Fourth verse: AB, CB, then lines 6 and 8 assonance only.
    Very well written; I enjoyed it very much. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 104 Points Neal Beightol (12/1/2014 8:34:00 AM)

    While the soul is on its lonely walk
    It steals its light from heavens brim
    Its flight makes angels weep

    Lyrical imagery that is just beautiful. Thank you! (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,080 Points Galina Italyanskaya (12/1/2014 3:52:00 AM)

    Hello, Noreen!
    Your poem sounds up-lifting.
    And truly said, hope is that force which raises a soul up to the sky,
    but only faith can keep it there from falling. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,585 Points Daniel Brick (12/1/2014 2:38:00 AM)

    Hi Noreen We have been out of touch since last May when I posted two comments on this poem. I just re-read them and they say everything that I can say in words abougt the imapact of your poem. Let me just add since last May I have composed four love poems, and previously I had composed zero love poems. So I read this poem with a newe consciousness of the importance of love poems to keep our hearts open, perceptive and receptive (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 2,578 Points Achill Lad (10/14/2014 12:38:00 PM)

    A beautiful poem Noreen. An exquisite description of loneliness and the heartbreak it brings. Then the uplifting experience of knowing that someone cares and understands. A very special piece of poetry from what must be a very special person, so much feeling here. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,585 Points Daniel Brick (5/16/2014 8:48:00 AM)

    I came back to this poem because I earlier found its strength of expression and purpose so energizing. I just finished reading your homage to the uncle killed in WWII and I'm feeling the overall sadness that comes with confronting lives that are finished, events that are intractable, feelings that have no future - all these losses pile up in our minds EVEN THOUGH they are not necessarily personal. But your poem gives me such faith in hearts and souls that the sadness will soon be replaced by HOPE - and that is the special gift HEART AND SOUL holds out to us every time we read it. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 5,585 Points Daniel Brick (5/8/2014 12:44:00 PM)

    This poem is filled with so much tenderness that its appreciative readers may not at first realize it is also imbued with strength. It is that strength which it embodies and conveys to its readers which I consider so necessary in keeping heart and soul healthy and hale. The language of the poem is so convincing, and the movement is stately and inevitable with your impressive eight-line stanzas effortlessly carrying the weight of the argument. If I did not know English and someone would recite this poem, the rhythms would convey its meaning to me, heart and soul. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 4,016 Points Khairul Ahsan (1/13/2014 8:57:00 PM)

    Loved this beautiful poem of yours! Loved the note too and quite agree that 'Sometimes we all need someone to carry us when we cant fly' - really a beautiful thought.
    'The outer shell can smile and talk.
    While the soul is on its lonely walk.' - Loved these lines! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 475 Points Mike Barrett (12/17/2013 6:37:00 PM)

    Noreen, you nearly blew me away with the balance of the spiritual/dichotomy in the first paragraph and the last stanza is beyond beautiful. Great write! Cheers! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 10 Points Charles Darnell (11/26/2013 5:43:00 AM)

    I always admire a poet who is able to write a poem in rhyme.....that is when it is well done as is this one. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,551 Points Hans Vr (11/24/2013 4:47:00 AM)

    beautiful. My thought took flight with the ssoul and melody of the poem.
    Fantastic write (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 12,662 Points Valsa George (11/18/2013 11:51:00 PM)

    What a lovely poem! I remember having posted a comment earlier! But unfortunately now I understand that it didn't reach you! Human heart breaks with no explosive sound! But one touch from a loving hand can fuel the breaking heart with life and it may take wings and fly! It is love and understanding from fellow beings, that everyone seeks! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 11 Points John Brown (11/11/2013 7:20:00 AM)

    A good poem, with a very optimistic ending. I would have liked at least one more verse though. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,282 Points Ken E Hall (11/10/2013 7:53:00 PM)

    A helping hand with love is all it needs with the last line that says it all...beautiful.regards56186 (Report) Reply

Read all 29 comments »

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