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Another Reason Why I Don't Keep A Gun In The House
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User Rating: |
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8.6
/10
(94
votes)
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The neighbors' dog will not stop barking.
He is barking the same high, rhythmic bark
that he barks every time they leave the house.
They must switch him on on their way out.
The neighbors' dog will not stop barking.
I close all the windows in the house
and put on a Beethoven symphony full blast
but I can still hear him muffled under the music,
barking, barking, barking,
and now I can see him sitting in the orchestra,
his head raised confidently as if Beethoven
had included a part for barking dog.
When the record finally ends he is still barking,
sitting there in the oboe section barking,
his eyes fixed on the conductor who is
entreating him with his baton
while the other musicians listen in respectful
silence to the famous barking dog solo,
that endless coda that first established
Beethoven as an innovative genius.
Billy Collins
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Read poems about / on: dog, house, music, silence, time
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Comments about this poem (Another Reason Why I Don't Keep A Gun In The House
by
Billy Collins
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comments about this poem (Another Reason Why I Don't Keep A Gun In The House by
Billy Collins
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James Timothy Jarrett
(5/17/2009 3:32:00 PM) |
Drop dead hilarious. Great to see I am not alone in this world.
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Allan Thorne
(5/16/2009 2:15:00 PM) |
What a hoot! Really got me laughing. Maybe this is the root of minimalist music?
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Michael Gale
(4/9/2009 9:45:00 PM) |
Hey Billy: This poem brings to mind an episode of the TV series Seinfeld, Where Elaine Benis cannot get any sleep because of a constant dog barking nonstop, Elaine then hires Newman the postman and Cosmo Kramer who go and kidnaps the same said dog, but not before the dog bites and tears away a piece of material from Kramers sleeve. Great poem. Have you seen that episode of Seinfeld?
God bless us all-MJG.
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Michael Elkin
(11/17/2008 8:43:00 PM) |
I have yet to see a situation which could not be impoved by a firearm
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Ruth Campbell
(1/30/2008 11:23:00 AM) |
Cute. I wonder how a mewing cat would sound along with the Moonlight Sonata.
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Pinky O'hara
(12/18/2007 10:20:00 AM) |
When it happened to me......I thought 'What would Dear Abby do? ' She'd go straight to the source..........so I telephoned.......sheepishly apologizing for bothering them for bothering me.........I explained that '......even with my windows closed and my music wide open....'...........The Lady of The House told me '...well, get in line. The whole neighborhood is complaining.......' Things changed, though.........every time I'd drive by their house they'd lean out the front door calling me names.............My dog, Bless Her Heart, never forgave them and they weren't allowed to come and go without her barking in their direction.........They couldn't even sneak to their car! They couldn't have a BBQ, they couldn't mow their stupid crabby grass without my best friend making them squirm! Their dog, the size of a chicken. My dog? a large pony.....and smart enough to never cross her property line................The perfect payback.....
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Tired of Being Exploited
(5/25/2007 12:41:00 PM) |
Yes brother, and certain barking people are the reason I do not keep a gun in the car...
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Robert Howard
(10/18/2006 9:44:00 AM) |
A delightful poem. I am glad the puppy passed his audition. I hope somebody payed him scale in dog treats. I had a similar experience at an outdoor St. Louis Symphony concert. They were playing a Schubert Symphony and some folks were playing horseshoes nearby. The clanging blended in quite well so I wrote a piece called Gateway Overture and included a part for horseshoes. Robert
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Ashley Rivers
(10/7/2006 7:20:00 PM) |
This poem makes me giggle, cause I know exactly how he feels
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