Animal Husbandry...... [marriage; Humor; Interspecies Relationships; Medium] Poem by Bri Edwards

You, out there, who read this, AND are agriculturally-adept,
may be surprised at my definition of (see title) , AND ……with WHAT I've slept.

I came into this world, born of two married humans; I'm sure
most of you were too.
But NO human wife I'VE had. Instead, when I think 'animal husbandry', I think of 'ARF', or 'QUACK', or 'MOO'.

My first wife (I was her 'husband') was a long-haired Collie bitch.
When she met me at the door each night, her graceful tail did twitch.

She'd nuzzle me behind my right ear, with her pointy nose,
and if she said she was 'in heat', to the occasion I often rose.

She left me for a Pit Bull, Pete, who'd once been my best friend.
I KNOW he was more handsome and made more money. My first marriage thus did end.

My next wife was a Mallard (a duck; a hen) : I met her at a pond.
It was 'love at first sight' for me, ....and I'm sure, of me, she was fond.

I helped her build a nest one year, but there were no fertile eggs to follow.
That I could not have ducklings with her, was very hard for me to swallow.

We thought about adopting. The agency said …………..'NO WAY! '.
After that we drifted apart. No alimony did I have to pay.

A year later, passing a pasture, I found my current wife, Daisy.
She's the cutest cow I ever saw. She drives me udderly 'crazy' …..

with thoughts of how I should have met HER first. She's been my favorite wife.
I live with her in the country, …..to avoid the city pollution and strife.

No children we want, my looks are fine(with her) , she doesn't mind being poor.
And now when I run out of milk, I don't have to 'run' ….to the grocery store.

(June 16,2014)