Orlando Belo (Derby, England)
A Most Unusual Wedding
Because the bridegroom couldn’t be found
the bride was driven continually around.
Dickie and Melanie were marrying in style;
the first chimpanzees to walk down the aisle.
A reception at the classiest hotel Torbay,
followed by a honeymoon in Zimbabwe.
The best-man also named Dickie was with the groom,
but in a nearby hospital waiting room.
Earlier that morning there had been an accident,
which left the groom’s legs broken and bent.
The best-man phoned Melanie to let her know,
so off to the hospital she did quickly go.
With both legs now in traction and suffering with pain,
Dickie the groom did his best to explain.
He also suggested that the wedding should go ahead
and she should marry the best-man instead.
Abhorred by what her beloved fiancé had said,
she exclaimed, 'that chimp', she would never wed.
However, by the time he had finished to explain,
she accepted the proposal as simple and plain.
She went outside and put it to the best-man,
and he reluctantly agreed to the plan.
They returned to the church and spoke to the vicar,
who agreed to a proxy without a bicker.
The wedding and reception went without a hitch
but the trip to Zimbabwe had to be ditched.
At the reception, the bride explained the situation,
and thanked the best-man for his co-operation.
The proxy groom stood up and nervously said,
that he would’ve swopped the ceremony for a hospital bed,
and that one of the things in life that he was always dreading
was the thought of being a spare Dickie, at a monkeys wedding.
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