Pessimist Parent Poem by Ally White

You tried your best
But broke me down
Year by year
Things weren't as perfect
As we made out

I tried to make you proud
Tried to do my best
But even when I was a lot better
You were too busy looking back

Taking a record
Like the police
Of all my wrong doings
To use forever against me

We lost it all
Between you and me
Some days it feels like playing house
To what it should have been

It seems like nothing I do
Is right to you
You always want to see the bad
Always want to believe
People can never change
Especially when its to do with me

I only fight
Not because I'm lying
But because I'm telling the truth
And you never want to believe
That that is possible of me

So now I'm tired
Of this stupid game
Your pessimism
That I can do good in my life
From academically to living my own life
Is grinding down on me

One day that rope
Will break
One day I will just walk away
But I today isn't that day
Cause I don't want to give up yet
You're still my mum
But this toxicity in the relationship
Has to end.

It's taken me years to learn
But I realise now
I don't need you validation
Your approval
Your agreement
Or your controlling ways

I need to live my life
On my own ideas and dreams
And I'll get where I'm going
Feel free to watch
But I do believe in me