Message For The King (Tktwbh) ......An Unpoem [long; Funny? ; Fantasy] Poem by Bri Edwards

BIG HEAD, (MY WIFE'S TITLE FOR YOU) ........
she says what are you talking about, huh? huh?

my wife says (if i can remember it all) (not in this order) :


'it'' is Her house, Her chair, Her computer, Her HUSBAND, unlike in U.K. where the wife belongs to the husband. here in california the husband belongs to the wife. how's that? (Her words again; forgive my wife dear King) .
she is a tax accountant, worked 12 hrs a day,7 days a week [not all the time, King, but don't tell her i told you so]. she used two or three screens simultaneously! ! ! ! she worked long and hard during her career, which allowed her to have TWO houses in the most expensive housing area between san francisco and silicon valley, ....[one is rented for 2400 hundred a month/was 2700 hundred but she felt sorry for the two loser engineers, a married couple, who rent from her. (she also was afraid she might lose them to the competition after a yr or so of paying 2700....that's greenbacks i'm talking...US dollars that is) ]....don't tell her i told YOU that, please, Your Hinnyness.
She was gesticulating with Her arms as She shouted Her words to me from across the room. [but She DID have a big smile on Her face.....probably because She is SO PROUD of Herself...for Her financial success (sound familiar King?) as well as her defiance of Your male chauvinist pig words].

She says She 'beat the odds'.. She came here not speaking english. She says 'SOME people....(not ME King...believe me?) ....say She still can't speak english. She is a woman, another obstacle to Her in this great country. She came here in/with one suitcase only! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Now She says She came here IN the suitcase.? She can make a joke herself once in a great while. i don't think her people are much on humor. she is 'ESL' that's english is 'second language', King.
She says 'what is he? gay? '.....but don't worry King, neither of us care what sexual preference You have...You do have ONE?
personally i find it to my advantage, living with Her, to always watch my words and voice volume. but alas, i am not careful enough and often end up in the unroyal doghouse. i have to feign crying and ask for forgiveness and say 'i'm sorry'.....she also doesn't like me calling her 'honey', but 'dear' and darling and sweetheart don't bring any trouble. thanks goodness.
hey King, what can we do? ? she is japanese, born and raised; maybe that has something to do with her poor attitude. again, PLEASE FORGIVE HER. thanks King.
i just read this to Her [adding a new section in the middle]. AND She reminds me that i was supposed to tell you that YOU HAVE A BIG HEAD but i, Her husband HAVE A BIG MOUTH. in fact King, now She says you should change your name to BIG MOUTH. oh, sorry King for not capitalizing your pronouns as i typed. i HAD to capitalize Hers and the computer contains a limited number of capitals i think so i had to be conservative. i'll try to make it up to you in a later message some day. bri edwards, henpecked husband....but well-cared for by my loving wife.
(Nov.2012)