Critical Poem by NiQi Deveaux

Oh this critic, speaks so loud in my ear
Though my heart speaks so loud it's sometimes so hard to hear

Through the static and noise this critic likes to doubt
Now turning my attention away it begins to shout

Causes me to feel, intensly, insecurities grip,
Makes me doubt everything in my relatioships

They're talking you know, bout how you're not all that!
Your shortcomings are counted and there are so many stacks...

You're investing yourself in a fantasies that you
Made up in your head,you pitiful fool...

You can't trust anyone, they're all selfish, and don't care,
When you need someone, unlike you, they'll not be there

You're alone,don't you know? You can't rely on anyone!
You're so silly,so naive,why are you so dumb?

Try not to listen, but that critic, won't stop
Until unto my knees, I'm crippled, and I drop

Mind reeling now, spinning, as tears fill my eyes
Am I just over thinking? Are these just fabricated lies?

Who's telling them? I'm a listener.Where do they come from inside?
Why do I feel I should listen? Intuition? It's hard to decide.

What do I do? How to know? What is for sure going on?
The path is so craggy, and desperately long.

How do I get out of this nightmare? How long can it last?
If I take stock of before, heart sinking at last.

It's so hard to pull back when all I can hear
Is my breath,I'm alone, my heart shivering with fear

I put so much thought on others, their feelings, well being
When I look to find mine, it seems to be fleeting

It's temporary I know,but it still feels so bad
I remember the talks, that critic and I have had

It's disgusting I know,how I let it control
My mind and my heart, stings me now to my soul

N. S. D.