Carmella Stajanca
Carmella Stajanca Poems
Reflecting back I see not only me, but visions of you.
Some pictures transform into an ugly view.
The mirror shows an image I don't like to see.
Sometimes it is you looking back at me.
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If I succeed at nothing else in my life.. I hope to make you proud, I hope to raise you right. I hope you still keep hope when you witness the dark side of night. I hope you believe the sun will shine again. That a new day rises no matter where you've been. I want you to feel the joy and the love. To know that I will always place you above. Anything and everything is secondary.. You are number one. I know I will be the best I can be. And if this is my only job in life then i'll be forever happy.
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I'll give you my heart and soul. I'll open up to u in any way possible.
Just to reassure you that your love is all I know & its the only love I want to know. Although what I feel for you is hard to explain, i'll do what I can to let it show.
When I feel your lips press against mine i'm in total bliss. Even after you're gone, if I close my eyes I can still feel ur kiss.
When you wrap ur arms around me I feel held in your captivity. But this love I don't want to escape from.
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I. Keep. Falling.
Regain my composure and stand up again...
But then...
I think of my past and get so traumatized that I can't relax. I get these flashbacks nd my stance doesn't last...
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((you can be whoever you want to be; ; being a poet is me)))
The Best Poem Of Carmella Stajanca
Incapable Of Being Loved
Nothing lasts forever. I no longer believe in eternity. I believe there may really be no one for me. There is no such thing as a soulmate. Maybe there is no fate. I believe I will be alone. Its impossible for someone to love me. I always thought the love was enough to save us. But now I see its not. So where do we go from here? It seems there is no point in trying. Eventually everything comes to an end. I have lost so much faith. Somewhere along the path I chose I was shown that there is no one who can really love me forever. There is no such thing as forever. Something suddenly happens and they question being with me. I am incapable of being loved. Yet I have so much love to give. So where do I go from here? I can't put my heart into something that I know will come to an end. Therefore what is the reason to make it begin? I wonder if it is possible for someone to love me... And maybe they just choose not to. Maybe they don't want to. I can hide from this pain. I won't look into his eyes the same. Because I refuse to let another man hurt me. I refuse to let him break me apart. So if he is not ready to open his heart... Then I will keep mine closed. I have been damaged enough so now I see. If no one is capable of loving me... Then I will love myself unconditionally.
(Aug.30,2008)
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