Maryjane Poem by Carmella Stajanca

There's this girl named mary jane. I thought I knew her... I loved the sound of her name. But she used me and put me to shame. She took control of my mind. She took over all of my time. I just wanted to be with her because I thought everything would be fine. Then I found myself falling for her. I fell hard and fast. Before I knew it I wanted the feeling she gave me to constantly last. She made me feel like I could fly. As if I had no care in the world. She tricked me into thinking I could live on this high. Suddenly I realized something... This girl is taking over my life. She became my top priority. I chose her over my family. I made her my one and only. She was my escape. We started off slow but then I wanted more and more of her. I became selfish. I didn't want to share her with anyone. At one point I believed that this behavior was acceptable. One morning I woke up realizing I couldn't pretend anymore. I could no longer convince myself that she was enough. I realized that she didn't help me. She couldn't protect me from whatever I was hiding from. I decided it was time for me to be a fighter. To walk away from getting any higher. Because at one point I couldn't distinguish my reality from my fantasy. I was trying to find an escape. But I managed to get lost again. MaryJane was not my friend. From day 1 she was my enemy. But she blurred my vision from seeing the truth. Now it is revealed to me Mary! You may steal others personalities...but you can't steal a fighters. I can beat you. Just watch and see. Because I discovered your too immature for me.

(Aug.30,2008)