Save Me Poem by Carmella Stajanca

I run to you. I feel as if I need you to survive. I believe I may need this high.. For everyday or once in awhile. I think I need you to save me. Sometimes I need to hide from all this pain. But I shouldn't let you save me. One hit is not enough. One blunt is not enough. I could never take too much. There is a such thing as the point of no return. Because this high makes me want to exceed it. It makes me want to cross the line. I just want to be high. It makes me feel everything is alright. It may be the only thing that can save my life. I realize it will only save me by hiding me from the truth. But I miss feeling that feeling. I can taste it on my tongue. I feel it in my lungs. I see it in my eyes. And it doesn't make me question how I feel inside. It makes me see things through a different light. It makes me feel as if i'm invincible. What you say to me during my high will not hurt me. I will not care. I will laugh in ur face. Because all I believe is that I am free... I am flying. You can't damage me... You can't mess up my high. The level it takes me to makes me feel so alive! The problem is that I never want to come down. I wish I could soar forever. Having no care in the world... That's who I became... I was that type of a girl. I thought it could save me because it made me feel safe. Now I am trying to fight it because being high is just living a lie. I miss using it to save me... But there has to be something real out there. I need to find something else. Because I can't allow it to take over my life.

(Aug.30,2008)