The Real Me Poem by Nancy Chanthakoun

I hide myself behind this mask I've made all these years
Protecting myself from the trueness of everything else
Every step I take builds my fear
Every breath I take makes me feel the pain I've felt
Sheilding myself from the world makes me feel incomplete
I've tried to face the real world on my own
But all that left me was a mess on the floor
Nobody knows, not friends nor my family,
about the real me
They have a misconception on who I am
The words they say, the actions they do,
it effects me dearly, like daggers to my heart,
leaving permanent damage I try to hide
by pretending it's nothing, that doesn't hurt
they don't see my tears about to burst,
I try to hold it in, to keep my composure,
fake a smile to those who look.
Maybe I've made a good mask, but it doesn't matter,
they never notice the heartache i feel.
Lying to myself it doesn't hurt.
It never hurts.
I've made mistakes and fingers always point towards me,
I know what I've done and what I am,
I just hated being reminded over and over again.
Like a bomb ticking away, I can feel the
pain, the sadness, the frustration building up
and ready to explode
Echoing in my head is the cruel and mocking laughter
of those around me, and everywhere I turn
there's no escape.
There's so much I can take, before I brake
and leave this world to
my forever oblivion.