Rodney In The I C U [ A K A: Intensive Care Unit ….Of A Hospital ] ……[ Inspired By ' The Poet Poet ' 's Comment On My Poem "Male Masturbation Is A Touchy Subject"; Humor ] Poem by Bri Edwards

Rodney was a randy fellow, and no one could accuse him of being ‘Yellow'.
But there were times when no gal was his own and he'd just...... BELLOW! ! !

And bellow he did when he ‘needed to'. [He matured BEFORE online porn was new.]
But he also sought solace in Playboy and Hustler, two mags he hustled home. Just two.

There in his studio apartment he'd grab a cold brew, and in his other hand his ‘third leg' grew.
Vaseline was his lubricant-of-choice. In a really ‘bad-month' he could go through a jar OR even two!

One particularly lonely eve, he happened to find Olivia Newton John staring back at him, at Rod.
She was ‘hot' in ‘those days' and, in Playboy's centerfold, Liv seemed to be giving Rod ‘the nod',

…..the "Come hither" look. This caused Rod to increase the speed and depth of his stroking.
It was as though he was in Hell, and the Devil made him a slave to do the furnace stoking.

That night Rodney didn't know his strength, ‘cause a PAIN shot down his cock's length.
Next he knew, ‘Olivia' was on the floor, and Rod was running to a phone near his door.

[[ WELL, NOT running in fact. He could hardly walk ‘for the pain'. Crawling he did. ]]

Picking up the receiver, Rod dialed Triple Zero (000) and ordered an ambulance.
It was ‘all he could do', while waiting, to pull up and fasten his Goddamn pants.

He'd had long-lasting hard-ons before then, but this one came with PAIN! ! !
If the ambulance took longer, Rod thought he might go almost-insane!

With thoughts of Ms. Newton gone from his head, he grabbed instead ….
his wallet. In it was his Australian health insurance card. (What dread!)

Wheeled into "Emergency", a nurse took one look and fainted.
A doctor packed Rod's ‘third leg' in ice and with iodine painted ….
"it".

Then an elevator ride two floors up to the Intensive Care Unit. ICU.
He'd never been in ICU before now; he'd now learn a thing or two.

Next came a 3 inch "NEEDLE". Now it was Rod's turn to faint.
But he got some relief quickly, and thought the doc a ‘Saint'!

"Low-flow priapism" came the diagnosis: TOO MUCH blood!
And it's blood that gets trapped, like a corralled flood.

To be ‘sure', Rod was kept in ICU two days and nights;
he slept all the time, having day AND night frights.

At last his wish came true and he left the ICU,
bidding the staff a big:
"I hope I never See You, again! ! "

(August 17, 2017)