Paper Claws Poem by Ben Partenay

You told me, yesterday,
that I lied
from the beginning, but I didn't, I told you
that I was a monster. From day one, I was
nothing more than the dark parts of a heart
that never learned to love. And I told you this.
Over and over
in different ways, sometimes
in actions and each
night we would sleep
and go about our day
in oblivion.

And sometimes the monster slept, lay dormant
(as monsters tend to do) and yet it never
went extinct. It devoured both of us
until we slept differently and
our breaths were more shallow, our touch cold. Can
a touch be hollow? Can a heart pump only
air? I am a monster.
I told you again, and again
and again.

Once I believed I was separate, that it
was only a part of me, that we can be both
good and evil, that the cream
separates itself over time. I was wrong dear, and in
a way I did lie, not because I knowingly
lied but because I wanted to believe for myself.
Monsters are selfish
and I am a monster.

Were you to hunt me, as
you have for years now, were
you to find me and sit me down.
Tell me we should try again.
That this was meant to be.
That the third time's the charm.
I would agree with you and
I would hold you in
my paper claws and whisper
"It will never happen
again"