Ben Paynter

Rookie - 150 Points (Midwest)

a mockingbird, it isn't


It isn’t much I’ve seen,
just a couple sunsets
in the great grand
scheme of things.
Tonight I ask
where has the moon
gone off too.

It isn’t much I’ve heard,
just a city writing songs
on cracked apartment buildings;
it’s metal bow and streets of violins.
Tonight I ask
why have the birds
not returned for spring.

It isn’t much I’ve felt,
not shame for anything I’ve done
not guilt for anything I’ve said.
It’s bitter cold outside
there is a mockingbird
at my window blowing smoke.

Submitted: Friday, September 21, 2007
Edited: Monday, April 11, 2011

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Comments about this poem (a mockingbird, it isn't by Ben Paynter )

  • Rookie Stephanie Saba (9/23/2008 7:39:00 PM)

    Nicely written! :) Keep writing! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Greenwolfe 1962 (6/25/2008 1:26:00 PM)

    I would have given this poem a 7, if it had been written by someone else.
    But, I gave it a 9 for you. You are a superior talent. It doesn't always
    appear, and frankly it can't, in a poem as vague as this one. The reader doesn't
    know this, and perhaps they never will. But I do, and therefore I have to be
    honest to your ability. I'll read another. We'll see about it.

    GW62 (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Sandra Fowler (10/3/2007 1:06:00 AM)

    Very poignant. You are in good poetic voice in this one. Praise for your talented pen.

    Warm regards,

    Sandra (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Goldy Locks (10/1/2007 3:27:00 PM)

    ben, feeling it... Great stuff.

    keep on,
    sjg (Report) Reply

Read all 4 comments »

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