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(Nicaragua)

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At Times I Wonder

At times I wonder
was my life supposed turn out this way,
In my head I be going through some sh.t
so I hit my knees and pray,
asking God to please make a way.
Eternal search for better days,
tired of being someone's slave.
Struggling to make it through each day
no sunshine
my life sits in the darkest cave.
Soul feels deep, like an abyss
At times I Wonder when I die will I be missed?
Said it before Number 1 on karma's list,
Anger in my heart,
So, In pain I'm holding on my head and balling up my fist.
Not easy being a long distance father
kids grow up fast
can't even think of good advice to give my daughters.
For my little girls I can't be there or provide
swallow hard cause deep inside
sh.t destroys my heart and kills my pride.
Real sh.t, I won't lie
Many dark and lonely nights
in agony I've broke down and cried
cause I still feel like my hands are fucking tied.
Free but I can still feel the shackles on my feet,
My dreams are now nightmares so at night I can't sleep.
So far I've counted a million sheep
still can't close my eyes
Shivering and shaking I ask the Lord
If I should die
please, my soul to keep.
I Think about the book of Job and regain some strength
if he endured so much
with some motivation
I will overcome any obstacles that I face.
Hard times make it easy for one to give up or cry
bottling up evey bad moment in life deep inside.
Suffer from depression from the tensions of this crazy world
Motivation is my Loved Ones and both my Little Girls.
At times I wonder
was my life supposed turn out this way,
I be going through some sh.t
so Hit my knees and pray,
asking God to please make a way........

And HE Does.

Submitted: Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Edited: Wednesday, December 21, 2011


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