Viola Grey

Rookie - 0 Points (Feb '73 / NZ)

Another Moment


Given another moment
to retreat those lies
would you again whisper
her name.
What secrets fade and wither
from a mournful heart,
where forever slips away
on a tide still as death.
Keeping maybes as treasures
you promise something more
while keeping her at bay,
while revealing nothing.
Some semblence of sorrow
slips from vodka tongues
loosened towards truth
where sober lies hide.
Tomorrow reveals another you
which is true, pure,
yet stained and tortured
by yesterdays tales.
I see this bitter revelation
that you try to hide
by holding her tightly,
by lingering in her life,
by keeping her with you.

28/3/08

*your friends are here for you...be strong.

Submitted: Thursday, May 08, 2008

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  • Rookie - 0 Points _____________________________________ - (3/15/2009 11:53:00 PM)

    Keeping maybes as treasures
    you promise something more

    Its morning in my hemisphere and I was about to have my coffee perhaps I'll settle for the acerbity that undergrids this work! Excellent write budzz and my apologies for a delayed visit (Report) Reply

  • Rookie *Trusting You* (11/29/2008 12:53:00 PM)

    What secrets fade and wither
    from a mournful heart,
    where forever slips away
    good lines.
    *Purkey Girl* (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Tony Jolley (7/7/2008 3:31:00 AM)

    Beautifully written with some stunning precision in the imagery you evoke and the plays on words. For me the stanza:

    Some semblence of sorrow
    slips from vodka tongues
    loosened towards truth
    where sober lies hide.

    has it all. Alliteration. Two wonderful phrases: 'semblance of sorrow' and 'sober lies' wherein there is such contradiction. Truly impressive and so tightly written (the latter being the output of a skill I am not sure I have to anything like the same measure) . Impressive indeed. Tony (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Amber Lamb (6/24/2008 7:52:00 AM)

    This rings true to the heart. If only for those moments...beautifully written (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Who Iam (5/14/2008 6:31:00 PM)

    Your artful story is one I can give relevance to.
    A moment in time... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie okeydokey #3 (5/9/2008 10:59:00 PM)

    A beautiful episode...but it is so tragic.
    Sounds like quite the story, that is for sure.
    This is an original piece of art, right here.
    I really like it. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 5 Points marvin brato (5/9/2008 6:42:00 AM)

    Very sympathetic poem.... if only I could I would take that another moment! Thanks for sharing! A 10. (Report) Reply

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