Musfiq us shaleheen

Freshman - 923 Points (31st, December,1970 / Khulna, Bangladesh)

An Untold Love

Vitreous shinning of moon,
as springtime mothers pique
A train carried me from dark to light,
a rose bud bloomed-

I grasp roses and devotion songs together,
hands with my dreamed darling boon,
A dream decided real, never forgotten,
meaning of love as moonlit, learned from thy

Now onward-
Narrow uneven path,
Aye passionate pain stressed,
Thee roses faded and wither,
As a missing melancholy song-

On a full moon I bide on a boat for thy
Until ache twilight horizon-
Behind apart from time-
A mature pensive ripened,
An abstract passion craved for romance

Oh! It's beyond the wording,
Oh! My darling-
Oh! I forever behold thy
oh! ho! ! An untold love I feel! !

-Shaleheen,30th Decmber,2012

Submitted: Sunday, December 30, 2012
Edited: Friday, June 13, 2014

Topic of this poem: Love

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

On a full moon I bide on a boat for thy
Until ache twilight horizon-
Behind apart from time-
A mature pensive ripened,
An abstract passion craved for romance

Comments about this poem (An Untold Love by Musfiq us shaleheen )

  • Gold Star - 25,080 Points Akhtar Jawad (9/15/2014 8:32:00 PM)

    On a full moon I bide on a boat for thy
    Until ache twilight horizon-
    Behind apart from time-
    A mature pensive ripened,
    An abstract passion craved for romance
    Truly beautiful, a nice lovely poem, I have no alternate but to rate it 10 and include in my favorite poems. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 4,653 Points Saiom Shriver (4/24/2013 2:34:00 PM)

    A train carried me from dark to light, can be compared to our teachers and parents who carry us back to Allah
    Your poem has great intensity (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 133 Points Indranil Bhaduri (1/10/2013 12:20:00 AM)

    Romance.... I feel this is one of the best pieces I have read. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 4 Points Nader Baheri (1/6/2013 2:19:00 AM)

    so romantically piece of art.
    now i think this love is told it is no more else untold.


    . (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Jaya Mishra (1/4/2013 11:03:00 AM)

    So true....
    This is indeed an abstract poem craved for romance.
    The way you have put your words is so beautiful that it makes me feel beautiful about love....
    I loved this.... I actually did...! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 70 Points Jahan Zeb (1/4/2013 7:25:00 AM)

    That is one lovely piece dear. I liked the way you used your words. imaginative and poetic. Loved the flow of the poem and sweet sounds. Very well done (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 98 Points Vivek Tiwari (1/3/2013 8:14:00 PM)

    good piece of romantic poetry well expressed in superb imagery. Wish may your untold love have a louder and passionate echo to the silent ears of your love to make her know your intense love. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 71 Points Vipins Puthooran (1/3/2013 2:47:00 PM)

    well- crafted images/ a romantic poem! ! ! (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 2,949 Points Wahab Abdul (1/1/2013 7:44:00 AM)

    lovely poetry! i like it, , (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Shahriar Bobbie (1/1/2013 5:16:00 AM)

    yah, a good one and keep going on bhi-po (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 12 Points Eleanor Leech (12/31/2012 5:16:00 PM)

    well written piece with a wonderful use of language (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 93 Points Payal Parande (12/31/2012 10:08:00 AM)

    how beautiful...i have also written on the same topic, i don't know if had read it or not.....but really bravo sir (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 1,774 Points Sallam Yassin (12/31/2012 9:24:00 AM)

    Romantic love
    hidden in your heart
    but it shine
    in every word of u
    thanks (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 1,083 Points Xelam Kan (12/31/2012 3:30:00 AM)

    images are crafted well but lack cohesion......
    poem must be well constructed... there must be a logical sequence among scene, lines and even feelings,
    no doubt you did it well but my humble wit expected more from your genius.....
    good effort.....keep penning and ponder,
    tnx dear (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Muhammad Mirash (12/31/2012 2:49:00 AM)

    verry nice and romantic poem.moon is verry special for loving hearts, ever. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 175 Points Vizard Dhawan (12/31/2012 2:23:00 AM)

    oh my god what a creation........i am dumbstruck...reading this.....hats off (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 1,534 Points Sayeed Abubakar (12/31/2012 2:15:00 AM)

    Love is real. Your poem is real. Go on. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Www. (12/30/2012 9:58:00 PM)

    Well crafted in the mould of a passionate account given for appreciation of a great phase in love. The power of untold love is often more captivative... Thanks for inviting..I wish you too a very very Happy new year... (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 3,175 Points Valerie Dohren (12/30/2012 3:36:00 PM)

    An untold love - very romantic and inspired write. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Waseem A Malla (12/30/2012 2:24:00 PM)

    a great write indeed.. Keep up the good workkk (Report) Reply

Read all 21 comments »

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