Persian Nightingale


A Coquettish Smile


Large shadows loomed
On my heart
I was unable
To dispel the gloom

After loosing my love
Utterly
A blood of despair
Filled the room

Abruptly
A sunflower came
Removed
The horrible
Sense of doom

Casting the rays of hope
On my heart
Everywhere
Roses in bloom

When she smiles
Coquettishly
My heart begins to beat
With a soundless boom

(2008/7/24)

Submitted: Thursday, July 24, 2008
Edited: Tuesday, March 10, 2009

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Comments about this poem (A Coquettish Smile by Persian Nightingale )

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  • Rookie - 0 Points Jihad T (1/17/2009 11:30:00 PM)

    Amire
    you took all the words and i'm running out of saying
    nice nice nice
    i like hidden feeling (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Tsira Goge (9/1/2008 3:02:00 PM)

    Nightingale, You hearts shines with boundless kindness and love, fine poems....10...
    Tsira (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Tanya Stanford (8/15/2008 8:28:00 AM)

    This reminds me of the say where a door shuts God opens a window. Thank you for bringing back the hope. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Victoria Dame (8/3/2008 3:16:00 PM)

    I like your style of writing and I loved the ray of hope you left us with. Thanks for sharing! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 3 Points Sulaiman Mohd Yusof (7/26/2008 5:22:00 AM)

    chariots of angels coming to your site, along with the one, you loved so much.........and you live happily ever after.spark the air with your love, my friend. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie ... ... (7/24/2008 3:58:00 PM)

    Stunning! So beautiful, hun! I'm back, my nightingale! ((hugs)) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Thad Wilk (7/24/2008 9:31:00 AM)

    An elegant read here, with the message of hope, that will remove this gloom! *10*!
    best regards
    Friend Thad (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 77 Points C. P. Sharma (7/24/2008 4:06:00 AM)

    A self expressive and very well composed poem. Correct me if I understood wrongly I would say:

    She is sweet,
    She is all smiles;
    Her innocent smile
    Can take you miles.

    After darkness,
    There is sun shine;
    Your courtyard flower
    Gives you new love line.

    Peels of her laughter
    Fill you with joy,
    You can play safe
    With the divine toy.

    In her you realize
    The fulfillment of life,
    She brings you out of
    The life’s all strife.

    You call it bliss,
    Or call it boom;
    It silently enters
    Into your room.

    God bless her. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Lynda Robson (7/24/2008 3:56:00 AM)

    You found light at the end of the tunnel, a well-penned optimistic poem Nightingale,
    10
    Lynda xx (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Rema Prasanna (7/24/2008 3:23:00 AM)

    Persian you are a nightingale.. you find real love after all disasters.. fine one..10

    Rema (Report) Reply

  • Rookie M M (7/24/2008 2:24:00 AM)

    There are always rays of hope within the darkest moments of our life... A confident will to go on and dispel shadows of unhappiness through lovely words and unusual length of the poem. A very good write! 10 (Report) Reply

Read all 20 comments »

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