001 - If Only I Hadn'T Poem by George Hunter

If only I hadn’t
That’s the story of my life
And the one thing that’s caused me so much strife.
If only I’d been more nice and kind,
I wouldn’t be in this kind of bind.
If only I hadn’t beat up on my spouse,
She wouldn’t have taken my car and my house.
And thrown my ass out upon the street
With little to wear and nothing to eat.

Now I have to live in a homeless tent
As I haven’t enough dough to pay for rent.
While everyone else is happy and thriving,
To get something to eat, I go dumpster-diving.
I stand on the corner and beg and shout
‘Cause nobody loves you when you’re down and out.
So cheer up Bro, things could get worse
And they sure did, I thought with a curse.

The winter wind blew the snow with a will
And with old newsprint my coat I’d fill.
I went to visit her in my old city
Hoping that she’d show me a little pity.
If only I hadn’t
That’s the story of my life
I shouldn’t have tried to visit my wife
Who’d of known she’d come at me with a knife.

The papers in my coat protected me well
I struck back and then she fell,
Hit her head and rang her bell.
It was self defense, as sure as hell.
I told the jury that I was so sorry
But they didn’t buy any part of my story.

If only I hadn’t,
What a low blow.
Sure they say hindsight is two-oh/two-oh
But now I’m sitting here on death row.
At least I’ve got something to eat
And it’s warmer here than upon the street.
Of my last meal I had a dream
Of a great big bowl of cold ice cream.
Too late to do a lot of squawking
Too soon it’ll be — DEAD MAN WALKING!