n. j. saroff Poems

I found you where I left you crying on my front porch not knowing what to do
I feel an ache in my stomach over you still being love sick
I find our love in the mist, sweet like the way we kissed
I find your heart in the back of the theatre of our first date it's the one place I'm beginning to hate
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Something about Summers always makes me want to cry
Something about sunny days and the cloudless nights always makes me crave another
In the long days of summer it's moments like this where things that made sense for so long suddenly don't
Something about summer and the freedom it provides that should be safe and welcoming but really it's tackling me till I can't breathe
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When you deny me my sexuality
Calling it an abnormality
Its like denying the existence of the moon
I know you say its too soon
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Empty box
Fresh tear drops
Home alone
Nothing to call your own
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Holding onto my youth,
I don't want to grow up, though I want to figure this out
I don't want to settle, though I want a place to call mine
I'm wandering, falling, tumbling, wishing, wanting to go somewhere else
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The wanderer,
With the lava colored hair
The fingers like sticks in a bon fire
He could not control his desire
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The actor is not faint of heart
Not a wanderer or a drifter
They come on with purpose
Moving forward knowing exactly where they are going
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The melancholy sound of gloom is a quiet haunting eating away at the back of my mind.
Its teeth are the voice commanding me to die.

I am just a passenger to the world's spinning
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What happens next is an after low
Some people get an after glow
A sort of high a renewed will to stay alive, or to survive
After the energy has left
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