I only really started writing poetry properly about 3 years ago. It was all a misunderstanding. A friend asked me to read some of my poetry at a magazine launch evening. And I forgot to say no. So I ended up having to write enough poems to fill a 20 minute set.
And then I was bitten by the bug.
Since then I must have written over 500 poems. Sounds a lot - but most of them are very short. My shortest poem so far is 8 letters. And I still think it's a bit flabby.
I write under a couple of different identities as well as under my own name. These are:
The Gorilla Poet - mainly kid's poetry
The Guerrilla ... more »
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Dave Birss Poems
Poetry reading virgin
I’ve never been to a poetry reading before Are there candles and joss-sticks to garnish the floor? Or would these combustible hazards, in fact, Contravene a new European Fire Safety Act?
I'm happysad laughcrying from our goodbye-ing and farewell kisses
I’m supposed to be a poet But the words come so slow it Just puts me to shame. Should I give up this game
Nodding in disagreement
When God made the pigeon There was one extra bit In his do-it-yourself Build-a-pigeon kit
31 things you never want to use
The helmet for your motor bike A big syringe with a scary spike A bumper pack of sticky plasters The revolting oil that comes from castors
Like a paperback With yellow pages And a broken spine Or a corkscrew
Dream come true
Once, I used to dream of being free. Of having the time to be me. To bury my head in brilliant books To try cooking food by celebrity cooks
empty ‘cos you’re so far away full when I hear your voice every day
I wanted a coffee-to-go Which to this girl Was like the end of the world. I was clearly being unfair
No spare hair
I haven’t got an Afro like A super-fly white guy. I don’t have a mohecan that points straight up to the sky.
God created the cat To be supple and lithe as an acrobat. It could fit through a gap that was much too narrow It could leap in the air to catch a sparrow
You’d probably prefer if I threw in a pound To reward your performance
Jocasta tried to eat her pasta fasta than her brother who was the masta.
Forced to make a stand
A pregnant lady got on to my bus. I was always taught not to make a fuss But to get to your feet And offer your seat.
Comments about Dave Birss
(4 April 1928 - 28 May 2014)
(March 26, 1874 – January 29, 1963)
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(1 February 1902 – 22 May 1967)
Edgar Allan Poe
(19 January 1809 - 7 October 1849)
(31 May 1819 - 26 March 1892)
(16 August 1920 – 9 March 1994)
Poetry reading virgin
I’ve never been to a poetry reading before
Are there candles and joss-sticks to garnish the floor?
Or would these combustible hazards, in fact,
Contravene a new European Fire Safety Act?
Do the audience sit cross-legged - all their feet bare?
Or are they in eveningwear there on a chair?
Can I swear? Can I shout? Can I jump all about?
Are there strict rules of etiquette forbidden to flout?
If I go down real well will they shout out for more
Or is there no such thing as a poetry encore?
Can I do a cover version of Hegley or Ayres?
Or is it bad taste to ...