No Spare Hair Poem by Dave Birss

I haven’t got an Afro like
A super-fly white guy.
I don’t have a mohecan that
points straight up to the sky.
I haven’t got a big bleached bob
With three week’s roots on show.
And I haven’t got a mullet
(though I did have, long ago) .
I haven’t got a comb-over
Though I could have if I tried.
I haven’t got it permed or streaked
Extended, bunched or dyed.
None of it is pleated.
It isn’t like a mop.
I haven’t got a good short, back and
Sides up there on top.
I never use a hairspray or a
Mousse or wax or gel.
I’ve turned my back on shampoo
And conditioner, as well.
When I talk about my hair
There isn’t much grey area -
Although there maybe would have been if
My head had been hairier.