Allen Steble

Rookie - 0 Points (20/04/1987)

Your mind's ocean


Swimming away
swimming away
swimming away yeah
swimming through the deep blue ocean
nothing but red skies ahead
so put on ya hat and sun screen lotion
operation over cooperation
go swimming in your mind's ocean

The water so still
and the wind in motion
i'll be up and alive
before i'm down and moping
wake up in the water
before you drown
i'll make you want to smile
with my speechless frown
so put on ya hat and sun screen lotion
operation over anticipation
go swimming in your mind's ocean

Thoughts of doom and no hope
I'll dropp them in the oceans deep
To save my eyes when i grope
Dead to the world in this cool sleep
Swimming away
Swimming away
we'll swim all night
And walk all day
so put on ya hat and sun screen lotion
operation over destination
Lets go swimming
Lets go Swimming
in your mind's ocean

Submitted: Monday, October 01, 2007
Edited: Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Form:


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  • Veteran Poet - 4,807 Points Bri Edwards (5/18/2013 3:23:00 PM)

    allen, i can't claim to understand this poem. i did read it 3 or 4 times, at first trying to understand it and finally just trying to enjoy the sound of it. i like the repetition of phrases and the change in rhyming words paired with
    operation. i think maybe you wrote it while in YOUR mind's ocean, so it seems a bit dreamlike; and i don't claim to understand dreams either! did you mean to write dropp [sic] or drop? thanks for sharing and thanks for your latest comment. bri (Report) Reply

  • Rookie William K Duncan (3/5/2013 8:32:00 AM)

    I really like the idea of the mind as an ocean.
    People use words like deep and shallow, but you've proved there's much more to it than that with this poem.
    The word vast springs to mind. Hope to read more of your work soon. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie I Suck (1/28/2009 6:37:00 PM)

    these sound like the lyrics of a song, if you could work out music for it i think it would sound great! if you don't mine, could i try to myself? (Report) Reply

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