Treasure Island

Shahzia Batool

(Pakistan)

You!


I got a chance to meet You
in the feel of a moment
gripped in the crystalline abstraction
of a diamond bonding…

at my first sight,
a young sheep,
a kitten,
or a chic You looked to me;
but as the moments passed by,
I kept on exploring You
and found to my sheer surprise
a ripe mind,
a deep thought,
a razor-pen You kept and still keep…
a keen observer,
a bright writer,
a sharp critic;

I felt your soul like a lighted candle
Sometimes kindling the light
though sometimes idly burning away
but always on the flickering flame
fighting against the bold blows
and strokes of critical winds…
I felt the hardening of your heart
by constant fighting
within and without…

You made me up and happy
You made me down and sad
but never annoyed me
I likened you to Stephen D.
I likened you to the bard of fancy
I wished to write an ode to You…

Reading You is a wonder feel,
One might feel sitting either
in a submarine
or a space-shuttle..
you have always been so dead sure
beyond being challenged ever…
I witnessed deaths of ego hard
With no offence, with no blame
People let you rule their moods
Willingly...

for how they can file an F.I.R
when in all crystalline way
they love the killer…! ! !

Submitted: Sunday, September 29, 2013
Edited: Thursday, October 31, 2013

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Comments about this poem (You! by Shahzia Batool )

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  • Rekha Mandagere (11/8/2013 11:36:00 PM)

    What a strong relationship between exists between an individual and his ego is always a puzzle, yet to be solved. It might give comfort sometimes but most of the times it makes us sad. The narration technique is superb. Nice work Shazia, (Report) Reply

  • Patricia Grantham (11/2/2013 11:51:00 PM)

    I enjoyed this poignant write. Really lifted me up to the skies.
    I must come back down to earth now. You is so lucky Enjoyed. (Report) Reply

  • Rigzin Namgyal (10/7/2013 7:12:00 AM)

    ..a poetic sonata..that only a poetess of Shahzia's caliber can produce..poetry at its very epitome..
    ..loved it..i will give you a perfect 10 for this brilliant display of writing.. (Report) Reply

  • Queeny Gona (10/3/2013 10:46:00 AM)

    Ahh! Less words have I to reciprocate after reading such an amazing verse...... The ending is no less interesting as the rest of the read dear Poet pal. (Report) Reply

  • Cassandra Jasmine (10/3/2013 10:14:00 AM)

    Oh! I love this poem! I'm going to add it to my favorites. ;) I can't decide which stanza I liked most, because I loved all of it.10/10 :) (Report) Reply

  • Gulsher John (10/2/2013 8:26:00 AM)

    wow,
    wonderful versification, though theme is quite simple and has been treated frequently but from shazia' pen it seems quite fresh and exotic, treated absolutely brilliant.
    a garland of early spring roses for someone who inspired poets heart?
    there is much energy in this sweet song of admiration, one can feel the blaze of emotions and strong devotion.
    A brave and innovative mixing of class and creativity and a reflection of deep insight
    A smooth volley and swings of feelings threaded in this enchanting ballad.
    Poetry is not just a sharing of feelings but something different and special to be penned and Shazia is doing it..........

    p.s. i am totally ignorant to the reference you made in your poem (Report) Reply

  • Harindhar Reddy (10/1/2013 5:39:00 AM)

    A wonder similes drawn and special feelings echoed all though the poem. It produced ever lasting impression my mind. Kudos! (Report) Reply

  • Sallam Yassin (9/30/2013 6:38:00 PM)

    in a lip of a thing
    is a water?
    simple thing
    Or the love easy hub to appreciate
    Your first fist on a background
    in sketch
    but the magic in your hand
    made intensive in spot of a light
    made the eyes in clear
    crystalline deem of heart
    (You) the soul / given depth (Report) Reply

  • Tirupathi Chandrupatla (9/30/2013 3:56:00 PM)

    You refer to a wonderful writer and character. Your creation of image is imaginative and beautiful. Amazing poem. Thank you. (Report) Reply

  • Yasmeen Khan (9/30/2013 11:32:00 AM)

    A beautiful write changing like crystalline....reading it feels a crystal ball is spinning and rays of thoughts are radiating all around. (Report) Reply

  • Anthony Di''anno (9/30/2013 10:22:00 AM)

    You have written a fascinating poem. As others have said the You that you have written about flashes like the reflected hues off a mirrorball. Clever write. I like it :) (Report) Reply

  • S.zaynub Kamoonpuri (9/30/2013 8:31:00 AM)

    Whoever dis is about it is an exceptional poetic fan fanning tribute to some prodigy character. Hugs n fondest wishes shazia. (Report) Reply

Read all 25 comments »

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