Who To Choose? Poem by George Hunter

Election Year Primary 2008

It's election year
And I already fear
—That I'm tired of the lies
—And all it implies
It's more than I want to hear.

It's a just a big contest
A wearying slugfest
—To see who can be most religious
—It's really sacrilegious
They seem to be so obsessed.

With who loves God the most
They each other try to outboast
—It's so hypocritical
—To be so evangelical
And try not to be hindermost.

I try to vote Democratic
Without being astigmatic
—But the candidates this year
—Are unworthy I fear
Or am I being too phlegmatic.

One is an ex-First Lady
Whose husband did something shady.
—Her chances are slender
—Because of her gender
I'd say odds about 40 in 80.

The other one's problem is race
Which certainly is no disgrace
—And it's like a big drama
—His name sounds like Osama
So it's hard to keep a straight face.

So I'll just have to vote my mind
And a worthy man try to find
—'Cause I feel in my guts
—That most women are nuts
At least the political kind.

But I would give women a chance
If only they'd stop wearing pants
—And change their credo
—And appeal to my libido
Then I'd give them a second glance.

You say that I'm being chauvinistic
Well let us get more realistic.
—Lots of guys would vote for a hooker
—If she was a very good looker
I'm just being liberalistic.

Make it like a beauty contest
Where we could vote for the best.
—When she gives a talk
—We'd sit around and gawk
And guess the size of her breast.