When I Speak Of Love Poem by Leah Ayliffe

When I speak of love
I go back to when we were kids
It was in those times
Where I let me heart live
Each day, each breath was breathed for you
You had me wrapped around your finger like no other
you didn't want to be mean
I know, I know
You didn't read in-between
The girl I showed and the heart inside
I played it cool, as a weak little fool
You name it, I did it
All for you my love, my soul
Cause love was all I knew
To love a man, to make it true
I liked being your baby, your girl
Even on the side
Even when it made me cry
I let too many tears fall for a love undone
Do you remember how you pulled me on a string?
I remember how I knew it all the while
When you'd go kissing my best friend
During truth or dare
On the playground
I don't know why I didn't let you know
The dying hope inside, the killing of my soul
I only wished you happiness
Whether or not that meant to love me
Cause I didn't know any better
You were all there was, I was blind
And even still you seemed the good guy, always so kind
My frail heart couldn't take it
All I wanted was to die
Cause each girl I saw you hold was right in front of my eyes
They all claimed to love me, I was their greatest friend
My desire was on stage,
they pretended to applaud while they stole the spot light
Why did you love them so
Why did you tell me you still cared
I was always the girl behind closed doors
I got too comfortable there
Now I don't even remember how it felt to want to die for love
To believe that you and I would one day make it out alive
Together, in the forever you promised me all those years ago
I know it happened though
I know it was real
I know of those times, but they seem like a movie from someone else's life
I was thirteen, then fourteen, fifteen, ending sixteen
and living in a heaven within hell
When stolen moments made me fly, and the rest of time left me crying
Alone in this mind of mine
No friends to rely on
Its funny and its sad
Cause when you finally came running for me
My heart just couldn't take it no more
And I had to let you go
It was so easy to let my love go
No more would I be left wishing for death on my bedroom floor
And its funny and its sad
Cause when the time finally came
I saw a sadness in your eyes
That once reflected my hearts pain
And now my friend
Can I call you a friend?
Not for many years
And even now, as I try to remember those tears
You are a far off stranger that feels so familiar
Cause when I think of love
I think of us when we were kids.