The Schlongpump (Limerick) Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

Fifty years she had lived with the geezer,
he was ninety and still an old teaser.
He kept saying his EX
wanted twice daily sex.
Soon they put the old man in the freezer.

Gave a speech, at the service, the EX,
she revealed all his skills and his specs.
Seems a very small fold
had a pin in its hold,
all surrounded by spinifex.

Then she opened her crocodile purse.
Said she worked as a home duty nurse.
Here, she said, is the pump
that he used on his sump
and each day I would help him rehearse.

All the people were really curious.
Sister, isn't this thing rather spurious,
if you pump up his schlong
will it grow fat and long?
In the box the old geezer was furious.