The New Pope - Who Is He Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

Well, as I tried to tell you
the Pope would be elected
by money, not by value
or pious thoughts detected.
So Cardinal Sir Joe
from old Bavaria's woods
who's still a real pro
he must have had the goods.
He joined the Hitler Youth
in nineteenfortyone
but don't forget the truth
he didn't join for fun.
It was the current law
all youths had to belong
and Joseph's father saw
that the Horst Wessel Song
was not to be denied
and only all the Jews
(who tried to run and hide)
were able to refuse
they couldn't if they wanted
no German would permit it
as they were chased and taunted
as if they were dim-witted.
So when he was fourteen
he joined 10 million others
and if he was not keen
they went after the mothers
a blue-eyed boy, a German
pledge life, no hesitation
eliminate all vermin
and always live the celebration
of Hitler's rule and his grand plans
the purity of race perfection
to choose: It's David or Hans
it was a natural selection.
And Ratzi, our latest Pope
sat in the plant in the Deep South
he manned a cannon full of hope
and said Heil Hitler with his mouth.
Protecting BMW cars
and workers' jobs and lives and limb
it's reminiscent of the Czars
so that was Joseph, now blame him
for all atrocities of fighting
for concentration camps to boot
for Rommel's end and for the sighting
of mushroom clouds, oh what a hoot!
He may have whispered to the Fuehrer
how to proceed with Stalingrad
we know he did admire Duerer
perhaps he saw Adolph as God?
And April twenty was the day
when Hitler saw the light at first
a Happy Birthday and Hooray
the Nazi bubble's never burst.

The Polish Pope did like old Joe
was he a Nazi-Goon at heart
the Vatican was in the know
and did they like the Fuehrer's art
I smell intrigue like glowing embers
the flames are fanned by nasty men
why don't they ask one who remembers
instead of 'ones' give only 'ten'
I pity you who criticise
the German Pope with snow-white hair
you are too stupid to be wise
and too pathetic to be fair.