The New Car Deal Poem by Herbert Nehrlich

'But do not come to Daddy,
crying, come Monday morning
expecting to pay what I offer you
right here and now, so come,
do sign the papers if you know
what's good for you and me.'

'I want to shop around to see
what deal can be arranged
to suit me best, I must look out
for number one, surely you know,
a customer does have the right? '

'Well, once again, this deal is,
to put it bluntly, for today, and not
for any other time that follows.
I'm in a mood to help you out,
I like you, frankly and I know
that you will send me all your friends,
so trust me, Sir, I'm doing what is best
for all of us, and also, I could tell....
the truth is, that you may be, so I notice
a bit embarrassed with that old jalopy.'

'So what is the exact and final figure,
counting the trade of Cedric here,
and all the costs on road and for the Kaiser,
insurance which you kindly offered,
in other words, how much will be enough? '

'Now that's more like it, the thinking man,
you know, so many of my customers are,
to put it mildly, so ignorant, don't get me wrong,
I like them all, but it is always such a pleasure
to deal with someone who can think like you.
So, I suggest we get the papers done right now,
I'll call your banker with the final figures then,
and you go home and celebrate the deal,
no need to worry, I will handle it from here.'