Sheets Poem by Jennifer Gordon

Don't look at me like that.
all you make me want to do is pull the trigger
let my mind wave, fade and wivver
I can't take it.
The sight of you

I don't like her.
not a kind, of sort of...
NO. I hate her. Matter of fact.
Simple and there.
How she flaunts you around
taunting me.
making the anguish worst then it already is

It isn't enough that I see you everyday
Same time.
Same place.
I see you when i walk home.
When you are just around.
I can hear your voice.
Hear the things that you've said.

But then she is there.
All the happiness dissipates.
my fears and worries
flow back into my reality
my expectations
all the would of, could of, should of's
all the wishes
and the hopes fall down the well
like a penny.
forgotten

But I don't forget.
I wish I could say you didn't
but look at the two of you
you wanted this
you wanted life to be this way
miserably happy
more like miserably content
you made your bed
now you must lay in it
even though the sheets aren't clean
even though there are things crawling in it
you made your bed.
too bad you can't wash the sheets

It's still there.
the blood of my heart.
bleeding out
bleach didn't make it go away like I am sure you hoped
it's in there
in every stitch
in every inch
the blood of the distorted and misconstrued me.


(5.12.11)