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The heat was melting outback mozzies,
this was the Oodnadatta Pub.
Full to the roof with drinking Aussies,
the kitchen serves fair dinkum grub.
He found the loo and dropped his trousers
a loud explosion then occurred,
relief shot out from well-stressed bowsers,
then there was silence...though he heard
a rustle deep in the contraption.
What could it be, he briefly wondered?
And while he read the paper's caption
it was still there and now he pondered...
...if living things inside his belly
had seen, at last, the light of day,
it scared him here, inside that smelly
pub closet. It was time to pray.
A new sensation, one of burning,
had visited his trusted Willie,
most men would find this quite concerning
though some would find it rather silly.
At last, he did decide to venture
a look down to his pubic mountain.
As panic gripped he dropped his denture.
A stream was coming from the fountain
but, well-suspended, fifteen creatures
hung from coarse hairs like decorations.
They could not be the native features
but did account for the sensations.
A gang of frogs from Oodnadatta
inhabit toilets during season.
To local folks this does not matta,
survival is the simple reason.
They find the water fresh and cooling
and do prefer the blokes' equipment.
These critters reproduce (no fooling)
right after each new Fourex* shipment.
There is a wild and famous club
of men who wear the tell-tale scars.
Gained at the Oodnadatta Pub
and not in any other bars.
Outback Pubs are notorious for their resident frogs.
These frogs are small to midsize and they live in
the toilets cisterns and other suitable hiding places.
Increased activity in the use of the facilities seems to stimulate
the hormonal system of the frogs, possibly due to the more frequent
sightings of the 'equipment'. Fourex is a famous Queensland brewed beer, it was first brewed after a German recipe from the Witzenhausen Brauerei.
Oodnadatta needs no introduction.
Herbert Nehrlich
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Click here to write your comments about this poem (Oodnadatta by Herbert Nehrlich)
Gina Onyemaechi (11/15/2006 12:11:00 PM)
This has 'freaked me out' somewhat, Herbsy. Yuk! ! ! Well-told though. |
Tara Sloblock (11/14/2006 12:09:00 AM)
Educational, hilarious, trepidation-inducing. tripping jerkly off the tongue... and as happens once in a blue moon, give me a sense of huge relief that I'm not a man.... fab, H. t x |
Read all 3 comments >>
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