Only You Would Know Poem by Leria Hawkins

March 10,2021

Only you would know, would recognize,
the midnight ramblings, the midday rants
Only you can truly understand the riddles written between the lines,
or know firsthand the nicks and dings of a too long obsession

I don't believe I am alone; I don't own the secrets…or the shame
I am one of many that has walked a path of impossibility
only to wake up on the other side of tomorrow
no closer than yesterday, than last week, or last year

It's a cruel game, a fascination, perhaps a disease,
a compulsive behavior doomed to repeat over and over,
an irrational need to try, and try, and try again,
forever grasping at that perfect something just out of reach

Only you would know, would recognize,
a taste that lingers far too long on your lips
Only you can discern the scent that wafts into your deepest dreams,
or know firsthand the weight of an undying passion

You are not alone, you don't own the mistake, or the blame
There is no fault in a reckless game of Russian roulette,
each owns the gun pressed to their head, the dagger to their heart
Each chose the weapon that led to the end

Only you would know, would recognize,
how bitter the sting of this addiction
Only you can feel the pull of waking up without it
or know firsthand the pain that comes from withdrawal

You honed the blade in a game of truth or dare,
never realizing just how deep the cut
Or how very, very long the road to recovery
You played, I played, we took the risk and rolled the dice

But only you would know, would recognize,
the toll it took on body, and spirit, and soul
Only you can understand my heartache,
or can you?