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Madonna who was short and fat
lived in a unit with her cat.
They did enjoy the fifteenth floor,
could see La Jolla's ocean shore.
The cat, who had been raised out West
was white and tan and black of chest.
Quite fond of birds, needless to say,
(but not to hear them sing or play) .
She spent her days where she could see
the birds, from their high balcony.
And dreamed that she could fly as well
but when she tried she merely fell.
Up there, of course, as folks would know
also resides the Vertigo.
And so it was not unexpected
that she ignored when she detected
a fat and juicy feathered bird.
She moaned, 'that's it, oh yes, my word! '
And hurled herself into the air
an action that no cat should dare.
Of course, she dropped just like a stone
and now felt mortal and alone.
But when she passed the seventh floor
Miss Lillie stood there, by the door.
And holding in her calloused hand
a vacuum cleaner, Miele brand.
Her husband who had now departed
had always used it when he farted.
It had tremendous suction power
would clean a snake pit in an hour.
He had retired and was given
a golden watch and turbo-driven
top model, nothing else compares.
Miss Lillie also held some shares.
She pointed now, with perfect aim
toward the cat, who, such a shame,
was still descending at top speed.
And, listen, now, just like a weed
the Law of Newton's gravity
was nothing but depravity!
The cat's quick fall was here arrested
and she flew sideways, (still black-chested) ,
and landed in Miss Lillie's lap
where she deposited some crap.
You understand, it was the fear
this cat was, otherwise, a dear.
Miss Lillie took her up the stairs
while on the back her feline hairs
stood all to uniform attention.
I also wanted yet to mention
that from that day, until much later
she always used the elevator.
Herbert Nehrlich
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