Leaving, Cause I Don't Want To Watch You Crash And Burn. Poem by Ace Of Black Hearts

I got the drugs beat.
Have for years.
Surrounding yourself with addicts what could go wrong.
Having the polar opposite effect.
Instead being pulled into it, your pulling them out one by one.
Not that I haven't tried them all at one point another.
The whole alphabet soup.
But never I have I been truly addicted.
True and tried.
No tongue twisted and tied.
Nothing to fight, not tonight nor tomorrow's mornings light.
And I don't understand why they are.
It's as if we are on completely different planets.
Different levels, different playing field.
Apples to oranges.
Which taste better is matter of opinion.
It all depends what your looking for.
A peaceful meditation, or speed demon on a cleaning spree.
Totally different version society Nothing is so black and white.
Hoping I never see the expected occasional O.D.
Feeding the fire to watch it burn.
A victim of circumstance nonetheless.
Living with a ghost each and everyday.
I couldn't save her so maybe I can save you.
The damsel in distress complex.
But for me that is just not so.
My experience was family related.
And I don't love anyone that way at this point currently.
Watching a friend crash and burn changes you perspective.
About as bad as your dearly missed departed sister.
How do explain the holes drugs have drilled in my heart.
A constant emptiness.
A constant numbness.
A constant wish you were here.
Of course I no longer touch any of them.
The trauma inflicted second hand was bad enough.
Why would I inflict that on anybody else.
I admit I have been tempted at times.
But it's just another reminder of those who are gone.
Stolen from me before thier] time.
I went from denial to hate and anger to now straight out acceptance.
Please forgive me if I can't stay and watch you do the same.
Those wounds left these scar that still haven't healed right.
It's hard to let anyone in.
I'm so afraid to let anyone close right down to their touch.
Because of a very hard life lived.
Because I couldn't call on a miracle when I needed one.
I can never truly trust.
Not even when I really should.
I see everyone as playing some kind of angle.
I'm trying to change that but it is so difficult in this environment.
Another reason I'm giving up before it even gets started.
A month in, is what it took reach this decision.
And know it wasn't easy.
I will always love you.
You were a good friend when I needed one.
But now it's the opposite.
I can't watch anyone choose drugs over their life, their family, thier home.