Shahzia Batool

Rookie - 603 Points (Pakistan)

If God sends my Maa for a while!


I shall lay my head on her knees
Believing that God must have cured her arthritic joints in heaven,
Then she will brush my hair with her fingers
And I shall tell her all my soul suffered from;

I shall complain of the bouquet of roses
That pricked my hands despite the silk-ribbon
And scotch-tape woven around it carefully;

I shall tell her the tricks of the winds
Blowing roughly on me leaving all others
And of clouds that shower benign rain
On all others leaving me,
Though I stand under them with a bowl
In my hands raised skywards
Which stays dried up;

I‘ll feel she smoothes my hair
I am relieved, and her sweetness has removed
The wrinkles of my crumpled soul successfully…
I shall feel an urge to tell her
That I miss the apple-jam she used to prepare for me
In a sauce-pan,
And that I have left eating the soaked and peeled off
Almonds and raisins with a glass of milk;

I shall clarify that I am telling her all
Because I don’t tell
Such things to anyone
Not because they won’t listen to this
But because I have lost my tantrums wild
Somewhere in the fields of my childhood;

I shall ask her
Does she listen to my voice while I recite prayers
On her grave?
Does she see when my brother removes the frozen candle wax?
And washes the tomb-stone?
Or showering petals on her earthly-bed?

Yes, I shall tell her
That cooking shows are no more interesting now;
That all the tragic tunes interpret my heart
And all the sad songs sing of my soul;
But, will it be wise to tell her all
That might cause pain to her?

I shall have no idea of her allowed duration with me
So, I won’t tell her, or ask from her anything
But this, that we all are settled in life,
And that I am happy
And then I shall smile
as big as a smiley-sticker, ear to ear
and I won’t let her know
-
-
-
that my pen bleeds still…

Submitted: Tuesday, September 03, 2013
Edited: Wednesday, September 04, 2013

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

~~~ some scattered thoughts that forced themselves upon me, i am sorry for this ~~~

Comments about this poem (If God sends my Maa for a while! by Shahzia Batool )

  • Bronze Star - 5,586 Points Bri Edwards (1/15/2015 8:37:00 PM)

    as *Sunprincess* wrote:

    love this....you have shared with us a beautiful and intimate poem...
    it's like we have looked in through a window to your heart...the
    intimacy in this poem is astounding...so nice to read.

    and i especially enjoyed these lines (which Valsa George also mentioned) :

    But because I have lost my tantrums wild
    Somewhere in the fields of my childhood;

    BUT, unlike some others, i shed no tears. i had a great mother (whom i loved as a child 'should' love his mother) , and she got her way and died, none to soon, at age 90. but no tears. people should not live forever, except in the memory of others.

    i also especially enjoyed:

    I shall tell her the tricks of the winds
    Blowing roughly on me leaving all others
    And of clouds that shower benign rain
    On all others leaving me,
    Though I stand under them with a bowl
    In my hands raised skywards
    Which stays dried up;

    i shall send this poem to MyPoemList. bri :) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 178 Points Ahatisham Alam (10/24/2014 8:03:00 PM)

    rula diya hme! kyo itna dard hai apki qalam me? (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 22,434 Points Akhtar Jawad (9/9/2014 12:35:00 AM)

    an amazing poem, capable of my 20th vote without any hesitation. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 127 Points Kirti Sharma (5/17/2014 9:09:00 AM)

    some children share everything about their life with their mother... even i do...
    shes my best frnd.. and and when shes not with us, nothing feels good.. evrything that we used to do with her or tell her seems all bored.. we actuly dnt feel lyk doin nythin.
    but if she see us, and finds that we are not happy... she will be sad... for her happines lies in our hapines! ! ! !
    so always belive that shes beside us... & watchin and listin to us....
    Mother wants us to stay happy..... ALWAYS! !

    beeautifullllllllllllllll poem! ! !
    i loved it! ! !
    this poem brght tears in my eyes...... (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 1,059 Points Kanav Justa (1/13/2014 5:03:00 AM)

    , , .. this is a kind of poem where the reader would fell honoured to read it, , , , a heart touchinhg poem, , , , greattt (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 10,463 Points * Sunprincess * (12/16/2013 6:38:00 PM)

    love this....you have shared with us a beautiful and intimate poem...
    it's like we have looked in through a window to your heart...the
    intimacy in this poem is astounding...so nice to read...

    ~I shall clarify that I am telling her all
    Because I don’t tell
    Such things to anyone
    Not because they won’t listen to this
    But because I have lost my tantrums wild
    Somewhere in the fields of my childhood; ~ (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 2,851 Points Patricia Grantham (11/3/2013 12:17:00 AM)

    A beautiful write this is indeed. It gave me a quite a shiver just remembering mom. When I think
    of the wonderful mother that I was allowed to have I can only say thank God for her and the love
    that she gave. Your poem echoes those sentiments. So inspiring your write. Regards. (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 1,192 Points Kanniappan Kanniappan (9/20/2013 7:46:00 PM)

    Nice feeling of a child with imaginary speaking with her mother. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 96 Points Robert Green (9/20/2013 1:21:00 PM)

    Your pain for a Mother that you loved is so open and raw but that same love will hopefully ease your pain. Another amazing write :) (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 4,069 Points Hazel Durham (9/15/2013 11:00:00 AM)

    I love your poem with such raw honesty and deep emotions you endearingly paint in words a beautiful portrait of your dear mother and also reveal your innermost thoughts! (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 6,512 Points Lyn Paul (9/10/2013 1:17:00 AM)

    A truly beautiful, heartfelt write. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 158 Points Queeny Gona (9/9/2013 8:00:00 AM)

    Very heart touching write dear ma'am! I couldnt refrain my eyes wet after reading such a lovesome piece imbibed with many sweet memories and holding our breath not to share the pains with appeared mam!



    Rated 10+ (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Tamsila Sehole (9/9/2013 1:41:00 AM)

    Its a beautiful combination of lovely memories and painful feelings.poem packed with emotions and innocence and all the things that we can tell to our mothers only.
    simply marvelous.i am so overwhelmed by my feelings that i cant even dare to critically analyse it. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 603 Points Shahzia Batool (9/9/2013 12:59:00 AM)

    Paul Adrian Fried - Writer, Editor, Composer, Consultant at Jubilee-Lampstand Publications

    To: Shahzia Batool Naqvi
    Date: September 5,2013

    Very nice poem!
    ...all the tragic tunes interpret my heart
    ... my pen bleeds still.

    Many lovely lines!

    Paul (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 2,446 Points Somanathan Iyer (9/8/2013 9:49:00 AM)

    The compressed emotions and love towards mother bursting out in a very soul melting way. Nice write. Thanks. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Connie Yost (9/8/2013 8:55:00 AM)

    Your feelings told so sweetly have moved me to tears., because I can see it all. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 415 Points Yasmeen Khan (9/7/2013 8:43:00 AM)

    Mother lives for ever in the heart of her children. The candle sometimes burn high and sometimes low but it never dies out. You wrote this passionate verse when it was high lightening up your heart. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Aswath Raman (9/7/2013 8:36:00 AM)

    Yes. To your mother you can glut your sorrow, laugh like a child, make mistakes and share your burden. The true bonding with mother is excellently portrayed ma'am and is nothing short of a miracle you have pulled off! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Passionate Reader (9/7/2013 5:47:00 AM)

    Outstanding! ! ! Emotions at their peak and soaked in love for mother. Mothers are a great blessing of God. We cant reciprocate their love and sacrifices. This emotional write conveys your deep affection and strong bond with your lovely mommy. God bless her soul.amen.
    Your scattered thoughts are the ones i love the most because YOU are at your best when you write your scattered thoughts! ! !
    Great work! ! !
    Blessings (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 37,706 Points Aftab Alam Khursheed (9/7/2013 5:14:00 AM)

    Its a kind of dream or desire or the inner quest that rminds now and then..Since mother is the symbol of care particularly for the women kind easily can tell the problems and she listen to combing with finger, lying on the lap...She had a question did you recieve my whisper when I call you Great attachment in fact nothing is beautiful than the mother, , women an earth on this earth lovely poem may Allah rest her soul in peace dreaming mother is dreaming attachment to make this world loveliest thank you Sister (Bahan) - (Report) Reply

Read all 38 comments »

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