Shahzia Batool

Freshman - 701 Points (Pakistan)


I offer prayers
to God Almighty
renew the promise
of my soul
at every smallest
sin of life
repent, atone
and daily sign
the deal with devils
then ask forgiveness,
mercy sweet,
then daily gain
some fatal apple,
and daily lose my Paradise!

Submitted: Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Edited: Thursday, September 12, 2013

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

Save us please God!
as the fall of Man is not the incident of history only, it is the daily occurence, moment by moment, some or the other man falls from the state of Grace, and consequently one or the other paradise is lost! ! !

Comments about this poem (Impasse! by Shahzia Batool )

  • Gold Star - 7,479 Points Amitava Sur (2/7/2014 11:05:00 PM)

    Sinning in human life is like the apple of Eve, with this we have to live...... very well written (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Passionate Reader (5/25/2013 2:17:00 PM)

    to err is human... we are human beings and not angels who would never commit a sin but it is always important to ask forgiveness from God! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! a very thoughtful poem, infact a prayer! ! ! you are blessed with a quality that enables you to communicate true feelings! ! ! God bless you. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 12 Points Farah Ilyas (5/22/2013 12:57:00 PM)

    what a confeesional poem! verily one who ask for forgiveness Allah grant them what they want....fatal apple, again reminds us we are becoming victim of devil one way or another, only God protect us; holy poem, glad to see it (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 40 Points Indira Babbellapati (5/22/2013 12:26:00 PM)

    I look forward to the day we mortals are freed from the concept of sin... (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 2,037 Points S.zaynub Kamoonpuri (5/22/2013 1:04:00 AM)

    Ok tryin again. I said, brill creative how u say, fatal apple, true d darned forbiden fruit dat still lures man. Kudos behna. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 2,037 Points S.zaynub Kamoonpuri (5/22/2013 1:00:00 AM)

    Ah coment not going! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Search 2 (5/19/2013 12:48:00 AM)

    The very definition of the 'Paradise' has to be revised. Though as a poet you have full liberty to renew your promise to made to 'God', I would like to know whether it is man`s fault alone to be in this impasse?
    A new strain has been added to man`s miserable struggle since B.C 18000 when modern man began his different mission of life on a planet that would have just spun like any other planet for ever..
    Good human beings still survive and that is why this paradise is still habitable for most of us. The slaves know how to toil and Master may not.
    Please, take it light as my atheistic mindset has urged me to write like this. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 1,092 Points Unwritten Soul (5/19/2013 12:31:00 AM)

    Only by asking forgiveness we may find ourselves to start new life,
    Sure He will forgives us, no matter how bad we are
    As we want to lose all bad and find a truth
    though we do commit sins everyday
    we always able to be forgiven
    as long as our love to Him
    not betrayed by things
    we are just human
    who can avoid from mistakes
    and because of love between us and God
    that make life forgiven and smooth...
    a pleasing write Shahzia_Soul (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 558 Points Tribhawan Kaul (5/18/2013 1:05:00 AM)

    A human is bound to make mistakes, seek forgiveness and then again go to commit sins. This vicious circle goes on. Had it not be so, a human would have been God Himself. However confessing the sin by the sinner may relieve one of his/her guilt but consequences of one's KARMA has to be faced The poem sums up the idea beautifully regarding committing and seeking forgiveness. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 442 Points Yasmeen Khan (5/17/2013 2:48:00 PM)

    The one who makes confessions must be a very humble soul and Almighty is all forgiving to such people. I believe Shahzia you are the one. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 127 Points Allemagne Roßmann (5/17/2013 8:53:00 AM)

    Bismillah ir rehman ir rahim- - atonement perhaps start this way as humans are prone to eat the fatal apple.They cannot be controlled coz` they can never control.Paradise is therefore Long lost before Milton`s illustrations. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 339 Points David Wood (5/17/2013 2:36:00 AM)

    To err is human but to forgive is divine. A lovely poem. (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 3,179 Points Valerie Dohren (5/16/2013 2:46:00 PM)

    We all 'eat the apple' many times during our lives, but hopefully we learn from the error of our ways. A simple but relevant write. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 340 Points Captain Cur (5/16/2013 8:22:00 AM)

    Most sins are sins of thought not deeds.
    The temptation lies in our heart which is
    vulnerable to conflicting and destructive emotions.
    Your poem is simple in structure but powerful in message.
    The ending word paradise elegantly picks up the
    off rhyme in, daily sign, which ends with great effect. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 39,733 Points Aftab Alam Khursheed (5/15/2013 9:29:00 PM)

    It shows the consciousness of mind and being updated and putting the work done to Almighty/ so cautious unto the Sin (Satanic In Nature) though we do commit unknowingly...Allah forbade us to do the sin, ..No such situation should arise in our life to forget Him well write (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 40 Points Indira Babbellapati (5/15/2013 11:04:00 AM)

    put simplest possible..... (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 2,993 Points Wahab Abdul (5/15/2013 7:35:00 AM)

    this is the destiny of human being, this is a scheme of our creator, for better, to fall and rise periodically and make us responsible of our conscience, a nice poem indeed, you talk in volume in short......critic will write chapter after chapter on this explaining significance, intrinsic and wide... (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 963 Points Saadat Tahir (5/14/2013 10:34:00 PM)

    to err is human to forgive divine....
    the poem takes a biblical advantage in human failing and inevitable tortured confusion of the soul

    well conceived, the beauty in simplicity and absolutely no redundundancy

    liked (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 19,088 Points Valsa George (5/14/2013 9:20:00 PM)

    Such a wonderful piece of a poem! This is human predicament! ! We fall, but falling is no sin as long as we strive to get up! God is all love and all forgiveness. He will atone our sins, provided we are repentant! ! (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 1,229 Points Thomas A Robinson (5/14/2013 8:16:00 PM)

    It sounds like you are human to me. To be sin free would be God. So the best we can do is
    sin and then ask forgiveness. Not an impasse by any means. As long as we have the bidge of forgivness to God
    we will be connected... like a parent to a child (Report) Reply

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