I Will Die And Go To My Father Poem by Gert Strydom

I will die and go to my father
without any further postponement, now
I will take my car and to the road,

die from everything ugly in me,
die from the wrong things between us,
die from that which separates us,

drive to where his white house is against the mountains
although fear clings to my heart.
I will die and go to my father,

die from that which has kept me so long from him,
die from all my pride,
die from all the wrong things in me

and even if I drive for hours long
while the sun fades,
I will take my car and to the road

and anchor myself on the eternal rock
(believe that he will be waiting me in) ,
die from all my pride

and believe that he will wrap his arms around me,
will hold me tightly.
I will die and go to my father

and believe that we will cry and laugh together,
believe that I will know of his love,
believe that he will be waiting me in,

without suspicion
and with repentance
I will take my car and to the road

and I will eat with him again
before time forever runs out,
believe that I will know of his love

and that he will really understand,
shall see me as his own.
I will die and go to my father
I will take my car and to the road

we will enter into deep conversations with love and new hope,
die from everything ugly in me
before time forever runs out,
die from that which separates us.

[References: Ek sal sterf en na my vader gaan by Breyten Breytenbach. Ek sal sterf en na my moeder gaan by Gert Strydom.]