I'm Not Used To You, Not Being Around, Ma. Poem by Fakeha Siddiqui

I just woke up but still feel drowsy,
My neck is flexed, head aches,
Think I overslept, maybe.
And what's wrong with my backbone?
Feels like I have carried a thousand stones.
Getting out of bed feels like a war now,
I can't bear the weight of my heavy heart, Ma.
Never have I ever felt this tired,
Never have I ever given up on life,
It'll take time for me to hold my ground,
I'm not used to you not being around.
I remember everything Ma.
How you'd run your fingers through my hair,
How you'd teach me to be so kind,
How you'd go to limits to help,
How you'd always utter sweet rhymes.
You taught me everything, except,
How to live in your absence.
I know thy life was a constant battle,
And in the end it was no less,
22 days of needles, bruises and soreness,
Before going downright silent.
You've won, Ma, in the eyes of your Lord,
My fragile warrior! Sleep soundly now.
Never have I ever been this tired,
Never have I ever given up on life,
I need some time to hold my ground
I'm not used to you not being around.