I Hate You Poem by Randy McClave

I hate you more than anything else that I know
I hate you more than the freezing snow,
And if I were drunk because of you and alcohol
I'd wish that I'd fall on you to break your bones and my fall.
If there was ever another world war
I know that I would definitely hate you more,
And if on a battlefield a foreign enemy I would ever meet
Before you, them I would happily greet.
I hate you more than I could ever think or say
So unto God, I tell him how much I hate you with every word that I pray,
God can count the drops whenever it does rain
I wish that I was able to count your pain.
When I have that itch that I cannot scratch
When I dread taking medicine so a disease I won't catch,
Then when I take that shot so I won't catch the flu
Only thing that I hate more, it's you.
I don't want you to die I just want you to slowly suffer
I want your existence and breathing to be worrisome and tougher,
For any experiment I want you to always go first
And if I knew of a witch, on you there would be a curse.
If you were in a room with Hitler and the devil's son
And if I had two bullets in a gun,
A chance to save humanity is the ultimate price
I would happily shoot you, twice.
I hate you more than anyone could ever hate
That I will not lie about or would ever exaggerate,
I would be happy if you were stung by a million bees
Or, if you got really sick and got the dry heaves.
I don't want you to die quickly I want you to suffer instead
Because soon maybe in years I know that you will be dead,
And then when your entrance to heaven is denied by God
Listen really closely! Because you will hear me applaud.

Randy L. McClave