Phil Soar

Gold Star - 15,260 Points (28.06.1952)

Facebook - Poem by Phil Soar

I must get onto Facebook,
And share my every whim;
Tell people when I've had a shit,
Or just been down the Gym;
I'd open up my heart and soul,
And spread eternal joy;
And tell the world how much I wanked,
When I was just a boy.

Id fill my site with Happy Thoughts,
And even product placing,
I'd photograph the skid-marks,
On my pants that need replacing;
Each day I'd write a daily blog,
With banal thoughts and ditties,
Post photos of me on the bog,
And flaunt my manly titties.

I'd keep the world a-breasted,
About everything I'm doing,
I'd keep my page updated,
Whilst I'm sitting down and poo-ing;
MY LAPTOP resting on my lap,
That's how it got its name,
My finger rips the toilet paper,
Now that is a shame.

An accidental Fingering,
Whilst sitting on the Loo,
Not the sort of thing I'd share,
Will all the Facebook crew;
But someone sends a link to me,
That takes me somewhere crude,
A site of toilet paper holes,
And fingers brown and stewed.

I can't believe the sort of stuff,
That people share out there,
Who tells the world their every move? ,
Do people really care? ;
And, Do we need to know all that? ,
Our lives all stripped and bare,
With every move and the things we do,
Why feel the need to share? .

There are those who also twitter,
Their lives awash with Twits,
Sharing every thought they have,
And getting on our Tits;
From stars of stage, and sport and news,
And those who live alone,
Tweeting when they've woken up,
And lying there alone.

They've all got their own followers,
Like some religious cult,
Tweeting crap and talking shite,
And writing to insult;
The need to reach out daily,
To tell the world their news,
To txt, to tweet, words from the street,
And all their insane views.

On second thoughts, I will not join,
Or share my daily grind,
I'll leave it all to those of you,
Who are out of your mind,
You tell the world your secrets,
You share most every day,
With people you don't really know,
Who might live far away.

So if you are on Facebook,
Or hashtag your life on twitter,
I hope the words you share out there,
Don't end up I.T. Litter,
I Do declare, that I don't share,
My feelings, thoughts and deeds,
Or try to share my drivel,
Till my brain explodes and bleeds.

Topic(s) of this poem: funny

Comments about Facebook by Phil Soar

  • Freshman - 704 Points Howard Mcdougal (9/8/2015 7:22:00 AM)

    A fun piece to read, too much truth, thanks for sharing (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
    1 person did not like.
  • Rookie - 387 Points John Brown (9/1/2015 8:30:00 AM)

    This made me chuckle. My kind of poetry. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 26,048 Points Kim Barney (8/26/2015 6:56:00 AM)

    This is hilarious! I've been thinking of getting my own Facebook page just to promote my poems, but now I think, why? If nobody ever reads them but me and my posterity, that's o.k. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 2,083 Points Louis Borgo (8/25/2015 12:14:00 PM)

    Great Poem Social media site this days seems to be the golden age. If you have time to comment on my poems I would greatly appreciate, Louis. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 161 Points Colin Finch (8/21/2015 7:19:00 AM)

    Good stuff! (Occasionally guilty of some of the above...) : -) (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 7,302 Points Paul Warren (7/30/2015 4:08:00 AM)

    Phil what are we leaving of this time? They won't be digging out tombs to see what we were like I fear it will be Facebook pages and cat videos! (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 4,889 Points Kinyua Karanja (6/23/2015 6:58:00 AM)

    Great, this is a good observation. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 1,385 Points Rakhi Jayashankar (5/12/2015 1:29:00 AM)

    Three cheers to someone who thinks the same way as I do
    Facebook should. Change the name to fakebook where people fake their thoughts and life
    Nice humour insightful idea (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 237 Points Karl Mcareavey (4/28/2015 3:52:00 AM)

    My sentiments exactly Phil....thought I was the only one who had better things to do than publish my mundane daily tasks to all and sundry....funny :) (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 4,631 Points Elizabeth Padillo Olesen (3/16/2015 4:47:00 AM)

    Very entertaining indeed. A very good expression of one's own way of looking at the social media and the personal choice one is free to have. Thanks for sharing. Great flow of the language. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 2,815 Points Jak Black (2/18/2015 8:37:00 AM)

    Great stuff. Liked the humour, the rhyme and rhythm made it so easy to read. Think you shared a secret or two of your own in this one though. Ha ha. Well done Phil. (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 16,123 Points Mandolyn ... (7/25/2014 2:28:00 PM)

    you should post this poem on Facebook.
    i laughed.: -D (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 37 Points Uttam Dey (7/25/2014 2:07:00 PM)

    Lolz! ! Nicely written... :) (Report) Reply

Read all 13 comments »

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Poem Submitted: Friday, July 25, 2014

Poem Edited: Tuesday, September 8, 2015

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