Do You Know Why? Poem by Autumn Winds

Do you know why
She sits in the shower and cries
Because you can't tell the difference between the water and tears?

Do you know why
Her grades are slipping and she's ditching class
To get high with the boys in the bathroom

Why she's watching the celing dance
Hallucinating with her pupils diating?

Or why she steals her parents alcohol,
Because she's know's there will always be more
And gets trashed, and runs away to the mountains in the middle of the night?

Why she's hanging with 'that crowd'?
Why she stays in her room or walks 8 miles just the get away?
Because when things get rough she's gotta stand tall
Got to be the one to diffuse the bomb and provide the shield for the youger ones to cower behind.

She watches the tears fall from the eyes of her mom
And everyone she never wants to see cry
Because her home has been broken since she can remember

And it never gets better, only worse.
What's a kid to do when Dad's been written up for child abuse?
When Momma makes no money.
And you're always the proxy.
The only one acting like an adult in a house full or children.

But she's not an adult and she doesn't even know what she's doing.
All she knows is she's got to survive and see to it that her brothers and sister don't fall apart in the process.

She's not ready for this. Doesn't have the experience or the ability to handle this.
But she tries, as best as she can

So the drugs and the alcohol are the only escape. At least, the only one she can find.

Because what's gonna happen if they're all split up and alone? Bouncing from home to home in the unforgiving foster care system. They've all already got scars you can't heal with a bandaid. What then?

So next time you wonder why she's cutting class like the cuts on her thighs
And getting high in the bathroom
Or getting so drunk she can't walk straight
Walk in her shoes

Show the happy doting, and responsible facade so that her 'unbroken' home stays intact.
So that your little brother doesn't get hit.
So that your mom doesn't cry and ask you why
So that you can tell your little sister it's ok.
And if they ever found out all that she's been doing
Her home would crumble on contact.

Do you know why?