Depression Emotional And Cognitive Thinking And Eventual Suicide Poem by James McLain

What does real treatment resistant depression feel like?

It's a bottomless ocean filled with dept's of such sadness,
Of being 'upset' unable due to their young age of being
Unble to properly articulate it.

The never happy ending, of crying a lot.
Empty of tears,
and energies constantly low.

Your normal is my sadness and life is empty and dull
And stupid, lazy people,
Who hate to learn, say go on out and smell the roses.
Or even worse, that what doesn't kill you will make
You stronger, these people to U.S. are the most dangerous
Of all.

No one can fix it, unless they are allowed to find those
Inherited Gene's and replace them.
Hopelessness, and that in truth, there is no way out
And jail just makes it worse.
And terrifyingly, they almost all know it.
Justice was never blind seeing it all go on around her.

And some people instead of taking their own life, buy a gun and
Shoot people.
Because of the self perceived hatred they have for themselves.
That even just one of you, could have changed
And for all the dead,
Their future you could have changed,
Can't you get even one Judge to believe that?

Cutters feeling numb, cut just to see if they can still feel
Any pain, it's the total numbness of nothingness.
And the complete loss of interest and motivation that in life
Kimberlee could not ever feel.
Living in my car was certainly safer than living with her.
Dead,
Female unavailable.

I don't feel happy, I don't feel sad, I've just got the same
face on all the time are you really that blind, or is it
that you don't care,
or want to get involved with someone like me?
That you could have saved simply by asking, if I'm alright.

You could shove your fist up her vagina or my ass and
Neither of U.S. wouldn't feel what you feel.
Nothing at all does that sound normal to you?
Violence through sex, unfeeling, stretched out to the
point of bursting, sex doesn't work.
Does painful sex, like the kind that you don't have,
like that work for you?

Treatment resistant depression is a snake in the grass,
Searching for rat's, in my ass.
Rage being subtle is always directed inwards,
That's why anger management classes seldomly ever work.

By being bi- polar combined
with treatment resistant depression, I just want people
to know that I'm two different people.
When ever I'm like this and my behaviour is like what
You see on Cop's on t.v.
and that I'm not always like this, though some evil people
Know this and push the right buttons on purpose.

The rollercoaster, the pendulum swings with out wing's,
As discribed by, Edgar Allan Poe.
'
It's growing dark now,
There's frost on the ground.
And I still have miles to go before I can sleep
The wood's,
for me here are really dark and deep.
So if you don't see me at work or come out of my house
For a while,

The natural light for you, that you need, is the light
I need in the dark, or I
Could just be simply decomposing inside of my house.
Can you discribe to the Cop's,
the smell that was me, that lead them up to my door?