Is It Poetry

Freshman - 1,664 Points (1958 - / Bus-Boys And Poets, Washington D.C.)

i want 'too die' a simple death


i want too die a simple death;
still i can not but tell..
battle field or hospital...
and when again i look..
so very deep
within your eyes..
it could be that it's......
i will only die again...
But even as you labor..
and i labor..
as once we did..
so long ago...
i know that in my illness..
i have become..
fatter and some
what greater in tumescence..
and you know it..
always and..
how it comes..
with age and thus..
and do we reminisce of this..
and how you...
have changed..
grey that bandage..
and with each gentle squeeze...
and as you watch me...
now so yellow, white...
i jerk
and jerk...
and i convulse again...
and i am so very still...
and you squeezed...
untill you...
were absolutely sure...
that i, remained still...
and at rest and i am and..
i dont want too die like this...
and would you...
allow it too be...
if it were you...held off defiant...
while your hands...
did other things as well..and..
each one brings me back..
from the edge...
each time...
too face my fate alone..
and you know with...
each suprised look..
that shoots..
so high and wide...
across your face..
and with each bright sun...
drawn out warm...
briefly..so briefly...
and that long stream....
as it finaly squirts...
and why it grows...
so much harder...
as you watch..
whats...
left of my life...
as it runs...
out between your fingers..
and it rushes...
towards the center...
and you hold on..
and on..
untill...that...
bright light..
and finaly it dawns...

Submitted: Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Edited: Saturday, January 09, 2010

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  • Bronze Star - 5,944 Points Roseann Shawiak (10/14/2014 8:13:00 PM)

    Magnificent expression of how death takes hold of a person, your explanation of steps it takes before getting to the end. Realizing that this is not how you want to die, but preferably just lying down and simply let go, a peaceful, uneventful death. I like this line: As you watch what's left of my life, as it runs out between your fingers and rushes towards the center and you hold on and on until that bright light, and finally it dawns. It is a poignant moment before death, a final pause in life. You have outdone yourself with this one! I give it a 10! Love it. Thank you for sharing, making me feel the intensity of this situation, and walking away pondering it all. RoseAnn (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 15 Points Nivedita Bagchi SPC UK (11/26/2009 12:29:00 PM)

    Thanks so much and intolerably good! ! Your poem..but death gosh grotesque..ho ho hu hu [fright]
    Ten++ for that trickles down between fingers.
    Ms. Nivedita

    Please read my new post recipe of first kiss
    niv (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 15 Points Try and UnDeRStANd mE ....i promise im normal (11/26/2009 11:13:00 AM)

    Wow heart felt//....i've lost alot of my family n freinds to illness tradgedies n just simple death i hope u neva hav to go thru this or that u get thru if u already did im here for ya just no that u could b gone or any of us could b gone at any moment let's make the best of the times we have! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 47 Points Danny H (11/21/2009 3:05:00 PM)

    I Adore this poem
    everyone wants to die a simple death
    lol fatter with age
    does this mean your chubby? (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 47 Points ! ! ~☺ ** ME ...**☺ ~! ! (11/21/2009 1:44:00 PM)

    i love the poem. it made me feel everything... it left an empty hole in my heart after i read it... hope this wont happen to you... or anybody...nobody deserves to loose their loved one...

    with lots of love,
    haidee (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 47 Points Terri Turrell (11/21/2009 9:14:00 AM)

    Impressive, this. I found myself leaning forward with the effort of your words which stopped being words...they were puufs and spurts of life in bursts...then gone. I could actually feel the passing of life...(well as well as one can) well done, poet (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 73 Points Tai Chi Italy (11/17/2009 1:14:00 PM)

    Wonderful poetry...to die for iip! Such a rush of romance to the heart.

    Smiling at you

    Tai (Report) Reply

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