Confused Poem by Chris Townsend

Shielded from my feelings, behind this sealed door,
I feel protected from this grey sensation, free fall to the floor,
My eyes see this earth as it rotates around,
As I can hear the bitterness, lifes revenge in sound,
My tears fall but I must press on,
As these words swirl into my ears, a never ending song,
Control is a luxury, something that I cant foresee,
These forces twist and turn and make me believe that I am free,
I hold my arms open and I am true,
These pictures I hold close to my heart, they cant be you,
All the things I need to learn, all these battles yet to be fought,
I wonder to myself, would I be a whole without these or would I be naught,
Would this be the end of me,
If all this ended and I was free,
These cage doors are long since rusted as they hold me here,
Wondering what lies beyond, a mine field of fear,
If for one second these feet would step into the blue,
I would hope that beyond these walls, thats where I would find you,
Although no one knows and I am not sure they woud care,
This life filled with who knows what, doesnt seem very fair,
But as I wonder I realise I cannot move,
As I see the down turn, my downward mood,
Cold yellow fills my heart,
As I scream at myself, take part,
This life holds so many barriers so many reasons why not,
I have no idea which way is up, I am sure I have forgot,
Honesty exists within these words I say,
For once I realise, this may be what I seek, here, today,
Then another war comes it shadows my existance on this plane,
I am shielded, or am I in fact trapped, my dark red feeling that I am insane...