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Manonton Dalan

Rookie - 144 Points (virginia, usa)

...are you really


i open my window
to let my soul
wander
in search
for you,

cold draft came
with vengeance
giving me goose bumps
but i endured
mumbling your name

i sat down
bowing my head
to more frustration
to a sight of a squirrel
digging nuts in rubble

bright idea
i called your number
listening to your fading voice
“i call you later”

Submitted: Saturday, November 15, 2008

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  • Rookie - 193 Points Naida Nepascua Supnet (10/12/2011 6:53:00 AM)

    i like the 'bowing your head' part
    it is like i am watching a scene while outside a window

    marundunong ka
    bali bali

    thank you for reading my poem 'hair less'
    haha gabay kon naramdaman ya manmaliw ya gwapo anggano magano labat (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 18,433 Points Mehta Hasmukh Amathalal (3/13/2010 7:42:00 PM)

    open my window
    to let my soul
    wander
    in search
    for you, .thius is how u loose your patience when you donot find your loved one.....
    it is beautiful poem.. to the point dear.....10

    read mine... i miss.... Mary to marry..... miss i miss u (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Cúcídh Mac Cuagh (3/2/2010 6:07:00 PM)

    Very good! the first three verses remind me of 'The Song of Wandering Aengus'. The last: a modern version of it. Well done! (Report) Reply

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