Amend Poem by Grant Lovell

Amend



I feel powerless,
I'm paralyzed
Everyone is careless,
That's what I realized

Listening to wise voices,
Even though I ruined all my choices.
But I still walk this road to nowhere
Even though the pain is too hard to bare.

With the sun that descends,
I can't wait to see the end.
With your life that I defend,
Ours will come together to amend.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Adeline Foster 28 August 2012

Interesting concept for a poem. Read mine - Frost Flowers - Adeline

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Theo Williams 01 July 2012

I liked this one. Especially the end. A good rhythm and good rhymes. Also you missed the 'e' in careless. Just a typical typo. Also try and incorporate the poetic device assonance. Also just try and develop a perfect meter as some words don't go well with others like 'even' and 'though' as it provides awkwardness and disrupts the flow of the syllabic structure. All in all very good poem :) Keep penning brother, you have immense talent. Sincerely, Williams, T.

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Samantha Rak 01 July 2012

I really like how you had a good rhyme and rhythm to this, good job Keep writing! Cheers :)

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